Replacements

So I finally got new glasses. Or at least I got an eye exam and picked them out. I'm wearing new contacts too. Know how long it's been since I'd been to the optometrist before now?

4 years.

And I didn't do that on purpose because I like the number.

But the doctor said that my eyes seem to be stable now, that they haven't changed much over the past 4 years (woo hoo!) so he wants to check them in a year and tell me if I could get lasik surgery with my wacko shaped eyes. I don't want to get the surgery right now, but I would definitely start saving if I knew it was possible. So we'll see. (ha ha. what a pun.)

And how should I describe my new glasses? They are like that artsy-genius kid on Parenthood. They are like Clark Kent, but that doesn't mean I like superman. They are grey-blue-dark...something. They are nerdy frames and awesome! They will be ready in January, and I'll be able to get another pair for FREE because of the new year and a new insurance plan that my company is switching to. It's gonna be awesome.

AND YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY PIXIE CUT!

It has returned!

Though I'm not proud of this style of pixie. We let it be too long. Now I want to go uber uber short. Never done that before. And I'm tired of even short hair. I want a little mohawk too. Is it a faux/fo-hawk? Not sure...but I want it, I need it, oh baby, oh baby (change the it to you and name that movie).

So I'm gonna be suber uber neato burrito on days i wear my glasses and do my mini-hawk, and i'll be cute and professional with a normal pixie and my contacts. then i'll find sophisticated and bookish glasses in the new year. i'm replacing my self-images, for practically nothing. could be fun. wish me luck.

The Boys

I have some super cute cousins who live just a few blocks away from me. I want to share two things, one from each of them:

Aidan was showing me how to play with playdough. Here's an excerpt.

Aidan: I made a nest!

Me: That is one big egg.

Aidan: Yeah, that’s a egg.

Me: I bet you could fit three small eggs so you can hatch lots of birds if you wanted.

Jakob (from the other room): How about 16?

Aidan: No, five-teen. Brittany, will you help me?

I was sketching at my aunt’s house, and her son, Jakob, was watching me. I was adding different types of hatch-marks when Jakob asked me why everything was dirty. He pointed to my texture marks. I told him how they were supposed to show that everything I drew reacted differently to light and held colors in a different way and felt different, and those marks were meant to show that different materials felt different. Then I played a game with my sister, aunt, uncle, and friend.

Hours later, when we were done playing, I see Jakob at the table with crayons and scissors and tape. I go ask him what he’s doing, and he shows me a drawing he’s been working on. Then he tells me to feel the different things.

A cat with fur had fringed paper taped to it for hair. The cliff wall had a rock protrusion, a crumpled paper taped on. There was a den of baby cats with hay, slices of paper layered.

My favorite part was that the entrance to the den had fire launcher things…a piece of orange construction paper colored red and roughed up—this one he told me to rub really fast and it would get hot like fire, which was pretty much using the friction effect of sandpaper to help you feel the heat! He also made smooth metal by putting tape on purple, a slight ridge on a robot, and a gas can. I cannot remember why he wanted the robot and the gas can, but it was a big deal.

It came with an extra piece of paper. When I told him, “Whoops, you gave me two,” he replied, “That’s for if you want to make one.”

They are cute boys, huh? :)

...!...

See how the title of this post actually records and predicts history? No? Oh dang. I thought it was obvious.

Listen here, and I'll tell you the tale of the punctuation marks.

It starts with the ...

It's well known that three periods combined together mean that you actually aren't ending a sentence. It's less well known that they are called ellipses and have an grammatical purpose that is used and abused these days. (Click here to become less ignorant.)

And it's rarely known how this tri-period-combo came to be. Back in the days when punctuation wasn't governed, and . wasn't a period (hard to imagine, I know), the . was simply a ., a symbol. What was it a symbol for?

Anything and Everything!

One day long ago, a boy named Ellip and his sister (we don't remember her name, so we call her Sis) were supposed to catch fish and gather berries together to help their mother with dinner. Well, Sis didn't like anything to do with fish, and Ellip didn't like anything to do with berries, so they decided that Ellip would take care of the fishing and Sis would take care of the berries.

Well, long story shorter, things didn't go according to plan. Ellip was attacked by a bear that wanted fish, and Sis threw berries into the bear's mouth, which the bear choked on, then swallowed and tried attacking Ellip again, but the berries were poisonous, so Ellip didn't die, he just got mauled.

On the way home, Sis supported the limping Ellip she would sometimes forget what she was doing, so Sis would drop Ellip while her mind wandered elsewhere. Ellip would cry out in pain, and only when he regained her attention would Sis realize that she'd forgotten him. Then he would be angry. Wouldn't you be?

But the truth was, Sis never finished anything. She dropped Ellip so many times, that by the time they made their way home, there was no mark from the bear attack. In fact, it had been so long since the bear attack that Ellip and Sis had forgotten why it was taking them so long to return home.

And when they got home, Mother was furious. She had been worried. And starving. She was a twiglet when they finally got there.

"What on earth took you so long, Ellip and Sis?" She asked. [Not an actual quote.]

Ellip and Sis tried and tried to remember, but all they could say was "Well," and "We were getting food and then," but these were not sentences, and mother waited so long for them to complete their thought that she continued starving to death.

Literally to death.

And Ellip and Sis also continued to starve, because Death wouldn't take people who can't finish sentences.

Until one day, there was a woman who used the . to represent Anything and Everything. She would draw a . every time she became distracted with something. It was a way for her to recognize that her mind was wandering and she needed to stop. So she would carry a piece of papyrus around with her (she was Egyptian, of course) so she could remain focused.

Don't ask me how she came up with this method of keeping focused. History can only reveal so much.

The point is, the woman was so successful in using the . for distractions that she ending up having only 3 of them every day. She created the symbol for distractions: ...

How does the history play together? Well, Death invented grammar and punctuation, and when he saw the woman's symbol for distractions, he superiorly thought to himself, "Those old people, Ellip and Sis, they can't finish their sentences because Sis kept getting distracted with other thoughts. I bet if I can teach them the distraction symbol and get them to use it in a sentence, then I could finally claim them as my own!" and that is how Death claimed Ellip and Sis. He was so thrilled that he figured out a way to free people from sentences that had to be finished but couldn't be due to memory and distractions, he named the ... after Ellip and Sis.

So why did I share with you that *history? Because, now that you know that each dot used to represent distractions and loss of focus to the point of memory impairment, you can understand the title of this blog, right?

Right?

Hmph. I will tell you then, you not-so-brilliant-children-whom-don't-understand-obvious-symbolism. (But really, you are smart, unless you are reading this, because honestly, who in their right mind reads something this long and ridiculous?)

The exclamation mark (something exciting) is surrounded by ellipses (distractions and forget-tions).

For those of you who need me to spell it out for you, I kept getting distracted (NaNoWriMo, work, etc.) and I forgot that NaNoWriMo was over. All of that equals the ellipsis before the exclamation mark. The exclamation mark is me remembering to blog and actually doing it (something exciting). The ellipsis after the exclamation mark is a predictor of the future, meaning I will probably forget to blog again.

It was supposed to be a simple way to say sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but now I am blogging to add excitement to your life, but I'll probably get distracted and busy and forget to blog again in the future.

But lo, I have to explain so much to you readers.

Next time I will choose a simpler title. My apologies.

*may or may not be accurate.

General Info

No, I don't know of a General named Info, but I think that would be awesome!

I'm giving you general information. It's not my fault that by proper-casing the title of this blog post I may have unintentionally mislead you into thinking I was capitalizing "General" because it was someone's professional title. That is just the way capitalizing will get you with it's devious little mind tricks, I suppose.

If you followed that, I'm not sure I should congratulate you. You might be as strange as I am.

To the point!

Anyone interested in being my writing pal for NaNoWriMo (and trust me, you want writing pals at least for peer pressure), my username is RueLane, or maybe Rue Lane. I can't remember if I used a space. Either way, you now have the information you need to find me.

Also, for anyone interesting in receiving my writing newsletter or contributing to it every now and then (or even just once), I'm giving you my email address. This is a big action for me, because I might get spammed by posting this. And spam is only good when it's fried and you're camping, because everything is good camping. Anyway, email me and let me know if you want to read or contribute (or even edit): bri44any@gmail.com

Thanks a million for reading this post. Thanks a billion if you leave a comment with a random fact in honor of General Info, the imaginary military leader for the battle against the uneducated.

Handwritten Letters

I've been checking the mail a lot recently for the last bill from my insurance company with a corrected amount on it (I refused to pay for a full month when I clearly didn't need coverage for a full month, only 11 days), and I realized something.

People do not handwrite anything anymore.

I mean, if it's something small enough for a post-it, then maybe, but anything longer than that? Heavens, that is just too much to ask.

I love handwriting, the verb and the noun. I think it feels so much better to handwrite something than it does to type it out, even though it's much more efficient to use a keyboard, and not everyone can decipher my letters. Maybe I like writing on paper because of the way I feel when I receive something handwritten.

Who can explain that feeling? It's not just the time it takes to handwrite a letter. It's not just the personality a pen brings to paper. It's not just the fact that you learn exactly how well someone can spell without a computer correcting them. It's not just the way almost no one can keep a straight margin on the left side of the paper. It not just the doodles and fancy ways people write your name and sign the letter.

It's a combination of these things and all the other simple quirks that come from an authentic message that physically traveled from someone else to you. It's communication in a form you can handle, a message you can save in a shoebox, a tool you can use to reminisce. It's a surprising form of support that can brighten even the dullest of days.

I have two favors to ask of everyone who reads this. First, leave a comment about why you like handwritten letters, or why you don't like them if that's the way you roll. Second, send letters to at least two people (one for each hand). If you don't know who to write, then start by asking yourself if you even know anyone's address. Also, make sure you have envelopes and stamps.

Don't feel awkward, and don't be discouraged if you don't think of anything to say at first. Write about what you could be doing instead of writing. Write about something you are looking forward to. Use colored pencils or decorative paper. Write about a memory with whoever you're writing to. Draw a picture (and don't worry--the less talent you have, the more likely it will be put up on someone's fridge, even if you aren't three years old). Send a photo or a scrap of something you can tell a story about. Make up a story and tell them to read the letter before bedtime. Just send something in the mail and write on it. It's a dying art that's simple enough to do if people would just practice.

It seems like people get excited about writing letters but then say "when I have time." The truth is that we never have time. We just have to commit ourselves to making time for these types of things. I think Humans can create anything they set their minds to, so why not create time to write a letter? It's not a chore. It's a relationship-building experience, a day-booster. I think it's worth the time and energy it would take to write it.

Help me revive handwritten letters. Please.

NaNoWriMo Kickoff Party! WooHoo!

Here's info about the kickoff party. I received this news via email.

Hello Rocky Mountain WriMos!

The 2010 Kick-Off for SLC will be at Raw Bean Coffee House!http://rawbeancoffee.com/
They have a nice upstairs area that we are going to take over on Saturday, October 30th, from about 1-4pm.

Raw Bean serves coffee, other drinks (sodas), and some desserts (the banana chocolate chip nut bread was yummy). They don't really have food, so they're allowing us to bring our own. Unless someone has a better idea, I think pizza should work just fine, as it has been our kick-off meal of choice for many years.

Going with the pizza idea, we ask that everyone who eats contributes $5 to pay for the pizzas. You're on your own with drinks and desserts, but please at least buy a drink while we're there; we're getting the use of the building for free so we want to give them our business.

Raw Bean looks like a great place to bring your computer and do some writing, so feel free to go back during November. Unfortunately, they don't stay open very late for evening write-ins.
You can see Trax just one block away. It looks like the nearest station is at Main Street and 450 South, about two blocks away. If you drive, Raw Bean has its own parking lot behind the building on the SE corner of 600 South and West Temple. So it shouldn't be a problem for anyone to get there.

RSVP to the forum thread or this email.(Email RSVPs tend to not mention your nano username, which means I list you twice sometimes, so please remember to mention who you are if you RSVP to both.)

See some of you there!

Is everyone excited about their novels yet? I'm still working mine out in my head but I think I may have something when December rolls around. Just waiting....

Banai
ML for Salt Lake City, UtahAIM, YIM, GTalk: banai47Twitter: http://twitter.com/banaifeldstein, http://twitter.com/SLCWriMo

So I'm Curious

I want to do a Writer thing. I'd write something like an article about writing. It could be anything from tips, techniques, thoughts, solutions...as long as it had something to do with writing that could help writers.

I figure I could do it once a week or every other week. I was wondering if anyone would want to read it, or even contribute to it. It could be like a newsletter. Who would want to be on the email list to receive this, and would anyone like to be part of it? I know I don't have many writer followers, but I'm just throwing this out there.

I just figure it would help me to write about writing. I could write about what I love, what I don't love, what I know, what I find out...because right now writing is hard. I usually just need to talk about what's hard, and then it either stops being hard or I find a solution.

Thanks.

If I were a Rich Man...

If I were a rich man, I'd wonder why I wasn't a woman anymore. But once I got past that...

I would have fun! I would collect stuff from my favorite shows and books, and I'd have a sort of museum that people could come in to see stuff themselves, too! Because sharing is caring.

Also, I would learn! I would keep going to school because let's admit it, I like learning, and it kind of stinks that it's not reasonable to have 13 majors in the same degree. I mean really, how would that kind of degree fit on a resume? No, it just isn't reasonable.

Also, I would accept fan mail. If you would send me fan mail, even if it is a lie, I would sent you a check, and I would be the coolest, most fan-tastic (ha ha ha!) rich man in the world!

Also, I would have an otter and a giraffe and some owls, because those animals belong together.

Also, I would probably do other stuff, but really, I just wanted to type into this blog box and click Publish Post again, because we all know how it feels to publish something with your name on it.

IT FEELS GREAT!

Interested in NaNoWriMo?

In case YOU are a WRITER and you've ever wondered what it would be like to sign up for NaNoWriMo, It is AWESOME! And if signing up feels this great to me, think about how much fun you're going to have beating your head/keyboard to a bloody/plasticy mess. I know, pretty cool thought, isn't it? ha ha.

Anyway, if you feel like killing yourself in November because of a zombie-like existence that somehow manages to make you feel like you're high in a good and a bad way at the same time, sign up. Here's what my welcome email said, in case you want to know more about it but are too afraid to commit to anything (as if they could literally force you to keep your commitment).

Quote (for the rest of this post):
After you've logged in, you'll have a chance to complete your Author Profile, and begin getting to know other participants in the NaNoWriMo forums. One quick thing: While filling out your profile on the site, it's important that you affiliate with a NaNoWriMo region, and then make that your Home Region. Many towns have Municipal Liaisons to organize NaNo write-ins and get-togethers in October and November, and affiliating with a region will automatically add you to the update list. Every region has a special message board called a Regional Lounge that becomes visible to affiliates of that region at the bottom of the Forums page.

To affiliate with a region, just sign in to the site, click the My Regions link in the left-hand menu. When you click that, you'll see three tabs. The Regions tab lets you affiliate with any of NaNoWriMo regions around the world. Once you've affiliated with your region (or regions---you can pick a bunch if you like), you should pick one of them to be your Home Region on that beautiful Home Region tab.

Picking a Home Region begins adding your word count to your region's cumulative tally, allowing you to do your part in crushing the spirits of NaNoWriMo authors in rival cities and towns.
To fill out your author profile, just click the "Edit Author Info" link and "Edit Novel Info" links from the My NaNoWriMo page. You upload your photo from the "Edit User Settings" link. Be sure to scroll down and hit "Submit" to save your changes.

On November 1, we'll unlock the novel-excerpt and word-count area of your author profile, so you can post your escalating word count, view your personal stats, and offer an excerpt of your work-in-progress to friends and fans.

Before you head off to begin training those typing fingers, we wanted to offer a few bits of advice. You'll find many great tips in the forums, and we'll be sending pep talks directly to your inbox during November. But for now, here's a quick overview of the three-and-a-half things we wish we had known for our first NaNoWriMo.

1) It's okay to not know what you're doing. Really. You've read a lot of novels, so you're completely up to the challenge of writing one. If you feel more comfortable outlining your story ahead of time, do so. But it's also fine to just wing it. Write every day, and a book-worthy story will appear, even if you're not sure what that story might be right now.

2) Do not edit as you go. Editing is for December. Think of November as an experiment in pure output. Even if it's hard at first, leave ugly prose and poorly written passages on the page to be cleaned up later. Your inner editor will be very grumpy about this, but your inner editor is a nitpicky jerk who foolishly believes that it is possible to write a brilliant first draft if you write it slowly enough. It isn't. Every book you've ever loved started out as a beautifully flawed first draft. In November, embrace imperfection and see where it takes you.

3) Tell everyone you know that you're writing a novel in November. This will pay big dividends in Week Two, when the only thing keeping you from quitting is the fear of looking pathetic in front of all the people who've had to hear about your novel for the past month. Seriously. Email them now about your awesome new book. The looming specter of personal humiliation is a very reliable muse.

3.5) There will be times you'll want to quit during November. This is okay. Everyone who wins NaNoWriMo wanted to quit at some point in November. Stick it out. See it through. Week Two can be hard. Week Three is much better. Week Four will make you want to yodel.
And we're talking the good kind of yodeling here.

Spotlight: A Funny Stranger

Who likes laughing? Raise your hands, both of them...

You all look like you're on a roller coaster now.

Okay, but seriously, put at least one hand down, specifically the one operating your computer mouse, because I'd like to refer you to this blog:

http://isitjustrandi.blogspot.com/2010/09/some-people-should-just-be-banned-from.html

It's her most recent post, and I think this lady is a hoot. She's not commercial or anything like that. She just seems like someone I'd be friends with, especially because she has a sense of humor. Mind the age gap, because it seems to be that she's a mother (or I'm kinda freaked out that she's so involved with those children she talks about...).

Anyway, we all know bloggers love comments like a zombie loves puppies. (Did I tell you guys that dream, about the zombies and puppies?), so I'm sharing her with you. If you like her blog, comment. I bet it will make her day to get a few new names in her comment list.

Skip the Emotions You Know You'll Get Over

I'm done dating. I have the worst luck. I don't think it is meant for me.

So if any of you wants to arrange a marriage for me, go for it. I won't object. I want to have kids someday.

Just don't arrange a marriage until I'm at least 27. Until then, I'm hands off. I'm gonna focus on my career and my book.

Until then, I'll work on skipping the emotions I know I'll get over.

On a lighter note, I went to court today to plead guilty for a moving violation: following too close, which resulted in a collision. The judge was scary, as were the people in court, but I went alone, owned up to my fault, said I couldn't afford to pay the fine today, prayed he wouldn't lock me up for 5 days as was his right, and he went nice on me. Split up the payment of my fine into two payments, one October 7th and the other November somethingth. I hope to never go back unless I decide to go to Law School to become a judge myself. That's still something I'm considering doing in a few years.

i've also started singing again. now that's a stress reliever. haven't been able to do that with roomies around, because 1) i'm self-conscious about singing, 2) since i didn't practice, my voice went bad, and 3) i don't like singing when my voice is bad. but now there are some times when i'm alone and i can sing whatever i please. so wonderful.

and i watched an audrey hepburn film recently. it was as wonderful as always. but i think i'm gonna have to watch a few more with some krispy kremes or reese's mini PB cups. that will hit the spot.

also, i lost my iPod. I think someone stole it at work. I will never trust anyone ever again when they say my stuff is safe anywhere. i will get a portable safe with wheels. i don't care how inconvenient it is. i'm going semi-pessimistic, because full-pessimists are too dreary to be around.

video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDEEzS7OV2k

The Rabbit Brand

If you know about the rabbit of approval, then you probably share my opinion regarding said rabbit.

I saw an ad on facebook for the brand that displays this rabbit, and i clicked the x to get rid of it. Then FB asked why I got rid of the ad. My choices were: offensive, misleading, uninteresting, repetitive, and other.

I selected other and typed this into the clarification box:

i hate that brand. the rabbit of approval clearly did NOT get any credentials with which to make valid approvings.

I even bought the mac and cheese because i trusted the rabbit of approval. i mean, with a name like that, who cares if it is a rabbit?

well, turns out, I care. what a lame creature to decide if your food is approval-worthy, especially when your food is for humans.

nastiest mac and cheese i ever had.

you've been warned.

Adnormal 8th

That’s right. My 8th day of work is not normal. I complete an 8 hour job in a little under 3 hours. I’m looking around for something to do, go through my checklist, hope that someone asks for my help with something, but nothing happens. So I start editing a paper. Then a lady comes to me and says my 2^nd biggest boss wants to talk to me. Uh-oh. I knew they were monitoring what I was doing on the computer!

You know I’m going to get in trouble, readers, don’t you? You are pointing and laughing at me right now because of my folly.

But now’s when I point and laugh at YOU readers, because you are WRONG! I am not in trouble at all!

I go into her office and she says she wants to move me. I’m aware of that. They’ve told me like three times that I’m gonna be switching to another desk in about a month. I guess she wants to move me NOW so I ask. “Where?”

Then I point and laugh at you again! You made another mistake, trusting that I know what my boss is talking about! She actually wasn’t talking about my desk at all!

She tells me about another job. She wants me to have it. She can tell just from looking at me, my resume, my degree, and my performance that I can handle more. She doesn’t think they’ve come close to maxing me out. I’ll have more responsibilities, be a one-man department, be a face of the company for doctors across the nation. She said she could use fresh eyes and someone who can change the current manual process into a digital process. Then she said something that I love:

“I think you’ll be able to learn more in this position, be exposed more, grow. You’ll be able to use your skills and develop more.”

She did tell me when I interviewed with her (she was my second interview, the one I quoted earlier on this blog) that there’s room for growth in this company. Is that not what I’m looking for in life? Just to keep learning and growing?

The correct answer is yes.

So when she asked what I thought about it, I said I was open to that. She said to spend half of the day training for the new new job for the rest of the week. Then we’ll see how next week goes.

I’m simply very excited. I’ve been promoted on my 8^th day here. Now I just have to keep doing what my dad told me: get a little better each day.

Sing-along time!

I finally got a paper to edit,

A paper to edit,

A paper to edit!

I finally got a paper to edit,

Although I'm not in school!

Yeah!

Catchy song, isn't it? Ha ha. Thanks. Cutler!

My BOOOOOK!

You guys, I'm not sure if I could ever accurately express my desire to continuously work on my book. It is such an idea! I mean, I have countless ideas and way too many books to write, but this one? This one blows my mind away. I have no idea how I came up with it.

I'm pretty sure it's gonna be the next big thing. At least in my life. :)

I would like to ask you all some questions, for research purposes. I am trying to create a female heroine that is NOT whiny, but isn't all tough. I need her to be strong enough to get through some really crazy crap, but I don't want her to be invulnerable. And no way is she gonna be some gorgeous chick. I'm sick of that. I want something most people can relate to, because like it or not, we aren't all Hollywood beautiful.

Anyway, my point is, have you read any books or seen any movies that depict a strong female lead (or support) who isn't invincible, who doesn't have the goddess quality of beauty, who knows how to stand up for herself, who isn't completely selfish, who doesn't whine and get on people's nerves like a valley girl, but who has faults just like everybody else?

Hopefully that makes sense. I'm looking for some character references, some examples to see how other writers/producers pull off successful female-leads.

Also, I'm looking for guys who aren't macho macho, but are still masculine. Guys who don't have to prove themselves. Guys can be aggressively-passionate (not violent) about something, who aren't completely rugged, who could be resourceful.

And evil characters that you understand where they are coming from.

Thanks ahead of time if you participate. Sorry to be so obsessed, but don't judge me. You would be too if you had centuries of a fictional society swirling around in your head, characters at the brink of war, and knowing how it will all work out in the end. Simply and complexly fascinating.

To Could-Be-Marylander

Dear Could-Be-Marylander,

I really wish you gave me more information...like, why Maryland?

Other than that...I'm a big believer in never going against your gut...you know, that feeling that you get, right there by your bellybutton. The small quiet nag that seems to know what's what. If you are being pulled to Maryland, then maybe it's for a reason. However, I don't know your age, your family situation, your stressors, etc.

If you are a fairly young adult with no responsibilities, then why not go for it? Live life, see the world, face your fears and save money so you can visit home regularly.

If you are a person with a family of your own, then under no circumstances do you leave them. If you have a spouse and/or children, your first and foremost commitment at all times is to them. Period. Don't care whatever is in the picture...unless there's abuse, you always leave abuse. Or infidelity...that's a personal decision that only the people involved can make. Other than that, a deal's a deal.

Do you have some responsibilities? Are you the caregiver to someone? Does someone need you for something? Don't walk away from those type of situations.

Are you just wanting to try something new? Go for it.

And remember...an unhealthy situation is an unhealthy situation. People are people no matter where you go. You take yourself wherever you go. But if you need to go to Maryland to better your life, then go.

Make sure you stay safe. Trust, but verify. Get all the education you can. Give back to your community. Mentor a child. Keep the promises you make. Stay true to yourself and your roots. And make sure to stay away from the politicians. All of them. Both sides are crooked right now....so just stay away from the donkeys and the elephants.

If you can do that in Maryland...and it's calling you for some reason...then go.

Unless, everything that I've written here has nothing to do with your situation. :)

Have a great one,
MommaC

Congrats, Momma C!

My mom won a trip to Hawaii. Cool, huh?

Also, she made my 200th post for me.

And she wrote a post on her own blog to help me calm down and to give me advice.

So I'd like to share my mom with you, because she's cool, nice, and wise.

You may ask her a question or a few, and she will respond, because she's good at things like that. This is sort of like a dear abbey thing, but it was her idea to have it be a dear momma c, so maybe you'll want to hit the anonymous button when you publish your comment, but PLEASE feel free to ask her anything.

the woman knows a lot. chances are that she can help alleviate some of that stress i know you have. (that's right, you can't hide it from me!)

so write to her via a comment on this post. she'll love it, and i'm sure everyone who reads here will benefit from it too. we just need people to speak up.

Number 200 with MommaC!!!

Welcome to post #200!!!

And welcome to Brittany's momma's ramblings!

My name is Connie, and I am VERY excited to be guest blogging on my daughter's blog today. I am not the funny writer she is, but I do love to blog. In fact, if you have a bit of time, you can go poke around at my blog: Connie's Ramblings. Go ahead...you'll even see more pictures of Britt over there. And if you make it towards the bottom where there's a video, it's supposed to be to the tune of Bon Jovi's "Make a Memory"...but apparently, youtube is all picky about keeping a song with a video if you don't have permission. Jeepers. So if you're ever by my computer, you can watch it as I intended.

Now, before I get caught sneaking pictures onto her blog...I thought I'd hurry and share some more of my life...which is my husband and my girls...here go...

This is my favorite high school picture of Britt:

This is my mom, my sister and a sleeping baby Britt...isn't she so cute?!?!?


And these are my girls...and this is completely normal...


So...to get down to business...yeah, I don't just come here to do whatever I want...I actually have an assignment to fulfill.

First, somehow, when Brittany hooked up another email account with this blog, she no longer followed my blog. Do you know my daughter? Have you ever heard her "mock" me about how serious of an offense it is to NOT read my blog? Well...my first task was to have her follow me again. Done.

Second, this is the sad part...Brittany won't be blogging as often (???) in the near future...for a few reasons:

1 - Brittany has started a new job. And she is really liking it thus far. I'm hoping it will continue along that path. Keep her busy. Keep her challenged. Keep her checking and savings account happy and full enough for bill paying and some good fun. Anyways...that will be keeping her busy...and the good news about this job over her previous job is that she has holidays and weekends off! Yeah!!!

2 - Brittany's brain is completely obsessed with an idea with for a book. So she's getting down to some novel writing. Good for her! Sad for us...cuz I don't know about you, but I sure like reading her blog...

3 - Well...to be frank...she's talking with a boy. Rather, a man. Sorry about that Mr. S. No offense about calling you a boy. She's a girl. You're a boy. I'm an old fogey. ;)

So.

That was my assignment.

And so I'll be invited to come back at some point in the future, I shall behave myself and not make all sorts of points and observations (like my brilliant idea of having a column on here of "Ask MommaC")...but feel free to click on over to my blog. :)

And other than that, thanks for reading my daughter's blog! She's great and cracks me up on a regular basis.

p.s. survivor starts tomorrow...it's changed to wednesday nights for the first time...so plan accordingly!

My Sweet Grandpa

So a couple of days ago I got a call from my grandpa. He heard I wrecked my car and he wanted to make sure I was okay, and then he was getting mad because my insurance wouldn't pay for anything (i had the cheapest insurance and they wouldn't pay because it was my fault). He was very irritated and didn't trust my insurance company and told me to have Doug look over my policy for me. He was certain they were taking me for a spin. And then he assured me that cars are replaceable and that the important thing was that nobody got hurt.

Very nice grandpa, looking out for me like that.

Then he called me again today. He said that I should wait for my uncle in Poland to get back and ask him to help me find a car for a good price, because that uncle is good at finding good prices for auto-related stuff. And he continued to assure me that everyone has an accident. I had mine, so just don't let it happen again. Then he said cars are replaceable, so who cares about those inanimate objects? People aren't replaceable.

And then it clicked. His wife was an irreplaceable he lost in an accident because of a drunk driver. So yeah, no wonder he's so cheerful and looking out for me. It's a good thing no one was hurt because of me.

Then he said that he was glad I didn't get hurt. "Well, your feelings were hurt weren't they?" He made me agree out loud to that question. Kept saying "weren't they?" until I admitted it. Then he laughed.

Which made me laugh. Nothing like someone making you admit your feelings are hurt and then chuckling over it. Not in an evil way. Just trying to cheer me up. But ironically funny.

A Recommendation for Writers

Writer's Guide to Character Traits by Linda N. Edelstein, PH.D. I have the second edition.

It includes profiles of human behaviors and personality types. Psychological and statistical information included. Very good stuff.

It's a good base for characters. Great to flip through if you're trying to figure out how to make someone more realistic or crazy in your stories.

Inception Questions

One: How exactly did they end up sharing dreams? I don't understand. Does the machine they hook up to somehow act as a train for each person's subconscious to the same destination? I missed that explanation. I don't know how that many people can end up in the same dream.

Two: Even though they've calculated how much faster time goes in dreamtimes, shouldn't brain capacity have some influence there? They said that BRAIN FUNCTION speeds up, not time itself. If the brain FUNCTION itself increases rather than TIME, I ask you all, my fellow thinkers, should not there be a difference in how fast each person functions in a dream? Leave behind my confusion about how everyone shares dreams. I'll accept that for the sake of this question. After all is said and done, each individual's brain FUNCTION varies, and therefore so should their dreamtime-speed.

So if the dreamer is slower than other people in the dream, then dreamreality would move slowly and they may become frustrated with delayed responses and such. If, on the other hand, the dreamer is faster than other people in the dream, then the others would not be able to function and might get hit by a car or something like that. Use your imaginations for those two scenarios before you move on to the third option I'm going to extend, because it is a good one.

If all of the people in the dream have different brain function capacities and therefore different dreaming speeds, then some people will function to fast and others will function too slow. Can you imagine all the mayhem that would cause? I cannot...though I can imagine quite a lot of mayhem. So how on EARTH or in SUBCONSCIOUS can any team goal be accomplished with dreamsharing?

My immediate answer is drugs. These people need to be on drugs to fix their brain functions to the same levels. These drugs must enhance or damage their brain function so they can all interact normally in identical time dimensions. And it can't be permanent, or the drugs would create geniuses and fools alike in realworld reality.

The end.

Although, it's not really the end. I want to hear from anyone who has seen the movie enough to remember, understand, reflect on, or hypothesize about the answers to my questions. I would like to know the truth and other's opinions, not just my conclusions I made up on the spot.

Tuesday News

I got details about my job. Not so much details as the decision they made, but still, I know more.

I start working Monday as an Administrative Assistant. That means if the receptionist takes the day off, I take her place. Otherwise, I'm a glorified intern. I help administration, marketing, the warehouse occasionally if it gets swamped. Also, they want to utilize my background as much as possible, so they'll let me proofread. Maybe that will lead to actual editing.

They said there is room for growth, and I think it'd be fun to do more marketing. I enjoyed it for my minor, and I liked public relations when I volunteered for that position.

Also, I can think better than I have in the past few days, and my back doesn't hurt as much anymore. So that is an improvement. And I am learning Japanese again. And I am in season 3 of Farscape.

And since I have this WHOLE WEEK OFF, I'm gonna write. As soon as I do a blog post asking questions about Inception. Because there were two things that I was confused about in that movie.

My Own MedQuest Prescription

MedQuest is a pharmaceutical company that specializes in compounding. I recently got a dose of medicine from them that's helping me get out of the funk I'm in right now. I got a new job there. I applied for an administrative assistant. A couple hundred other people there did, too. I got an interview and loved the two ladies who interviewed me, and I think they had a good time with me.

Then I got another interview. Only four people did. And they decided to split the job up and hire two people, a receptionist, and someone who does a whole lot of administrative assisting. At the end of the interview, I says to the manager lady,

"I know you see some value in me simply based on the fact that I'm here for a second interview, so right now the question isn't 'why would you hire me?' it's 'why would you hire one of the other three people?' If you don't mind, would you tell me why you think you wouldn't hire me right now?"

She didn't have a reason. She said my background is great and I'd probably be able to handle more than the last person who held the position. She said it seems like I'd welcome challenges and learning how to do new things. I assured her she was correct. Then I concluded the interview by saying,

"I want to let you know that I'm not a mistake. I've done all of that (pointing to my resume--on which they have taken several notes that I want to read) because I'm interested in it, because I can handle it, and because I like to push ahead and get things done. I have a job right now, but I want this one, and I want to work for MedQuest. I am valuable, so if you have any questions you wished you'd asked me when you're making your final decision, call me."

She told me she'd make her decision on Tuesday, but I got a call a few hours latter for one of the ladies who interviewed me the first time. She said I got the job, and she was so happy the manager made that decision because both she and the other lady who did my first interview were rooting for me. Made me feel good. :)

I hope I get the assistant part, because that's what gets me more skills and experience and general knowledge. That's what I'm all about. Learning and performing. But if I only get the receptionist position, that's perfectly fine with me. It's a pay increase and it comes with excellent benefits. I'll be able to replace my glasses and pay off my debts. And start saving up for a Master's program.

The funny thing to me in all of this?

My aunt works there. She found out they were hiring on the day they closed their job ad. That night, I emailed my resume in. In the morning, my aunt checked if it was too late. It wasn't. The lady liked how my resume looked, and she printed it out.

BUT THEN she forgot I was related to her at all.

I didn't get the job because I'm related to someone there, and that is a relief to me, because I like to get things because I deserve them, not because of favors. I would have been thankful to Tara (and I am, forever), but I also would've doubted my abilities to meet people's expectations. Now I will never doubt myself there (at least, not as much as I would have. I'm sure I'll have a few doubts occasionally just because that's the way I am).

And since my aunt works there, she offered me a carpool since I wrecked my car. So I guess things are looking up. I still miss Paynor, and I'm still more confused than normal, but I'm not making as many typos as I did yesterday or the day before. I'll have a bit more money in my budget if I have to let go of Paynor and cancel my insurance.

And I'll have Saturdays off again!

Thanks for helping me get me resume in on time, Tara. Thanks for always looking out for me.

Learning Sarcasm or Vision?

My three-year-old cousin made cute point the other day.

"There are too many clouds."

The sky was clear.

Maybe he's catching on to the concept of sarcasm already.

Paynor is dead

I don't know if people expect to be told when their family members or friends are in a crash, so hopefully if you are one of the people who expect to be told, and if you consider me a friend or relative you read this, because I'm not contacting people personally. I only did that for my mom and my work, because they are the ones that need to know. I also told becca but don't get your feelings hurt--i told her because she was the only person who knew how great my day was going up until the point that Paynor died.

Speaking of Paynor, I would like to make a dedication to my car. He's at the car hospital right now and they are waiting to see if I can afford the transplants he needs to survive, and if he would even survive the surgery.

It was stop and go traffic. After a few hours, I'm starting to comprehend what happened. And I remember that it wasn't because I was on the phone. I had hung up a few minutes before the crash. I wrecked because I looked at my watch. It was stop and go traffic. More like accelerate and hit your brakes fast traffic. I was annoyed with it, but I was trying to be careful. Until I looked at my watch to see if I should call my work and let them know I was going to be a little late today.

I ended up calling them after I wrecked the hood of my car.

The hood was bent like a capital A. Go Aggie block A.

The grill was a two-level deep V on it's side. headlights smashed across the road. tires obliterated.

The car in front of me was fine. I'm glad. They were also nice to me when I finally managed to get out of the car and fell into a ball on the ground and proceeded to bawl my eyes out.

I swore only once. It was when I looked up from my watch (it was maybe a second-long glance down). I looked up, swore, and the next thing I know, my face is sideways on a depleting airbag.

My face hurts. My wrist hurts and I don't know why, but it's not broken, just a bump-scratch. I pull over by the three cars already assembled at the side of the road. I know now that I blacked out, but at the moment, I didn't even question how they were suddenly pulled over and no one was in front of me (also i know i blacked out because I couldn't remember why I didn't stop in time, and I assumed it was because I was on the phone because the last thing I remembered besides the crash was getting off the phone with jaycey, and that was at a stoplight, not on the freeway).

My alarm is going off and I can't turn it off. My hood makes me start crying and I realized I'm coughing. There's a weird smoke in my car that is acrid. It burns my throat, nose, and eyes. I unbuckle, try to get out of my car, but my door won't open. Some guy starts approaching my car and I panic a little, realizing I can't get out of my car and for some reason, this guy scares me even though he seems nice and he's shouting "Are you alright?"

I feel sick, and I can't stop shaking enough to get out of my car smoothly. I kinda crash my way to the passenger door, which thankfully works. I look at my car. My favorite hunk of metal. Paynor the boat car. No one knew his name before I published this blog. It was a secret between me and him. My train boat car crashed, front part of it smashed in, but it saved the cab of the car perfectly. The only thing that hurt me was the airbag. He was such a good friend even though I wasn't careful enough with him.

Then I break down. Paynor might be dead, and if he's not, I might not be able to afford to keep him, like a child taken from parents who just can't feed him properly. I was driving to work to pay for bills. I'd taken tuesday off for jaycey's birthday. wednesday they closed because water was broken. Now I was out three days work this week. Not enough money.

How do I go to school? How do I pay people back? How do I get a new car? I need to drive to work and maybe a newer better job in NSLC. Why today, when I counted my blessings and finally felt better?

The people I crashed into were kind. A grandma kept telling me that everyone was okay, that's what mattered, that cars can be replaced, and if life has to be put on hold for a minute, it happens, and you can get on with it.

But I can't stop crying and saying sorry. That may be the reason the cop let me off with just a citation, not the whole reckless driving ticket he could've sent me to my financial grave with. And honestly, most of that time I wished it was a worse crash so that I wouldn't wake up from it into this new reality I was looking at. I didn't know how to cope, hence the pathetic mess I melted into on the side of the road. Paynor is dead. Paynor is dead. His face is all smashed in.

I didn't want to eat, because I was naseated, but I was hungry. I didn't want to drink, but I needed water. I didn't want anyone to look at me, but they needed paperwork from me. I didn't want to leave my car, but someone towed it away.

On the brightside, even though I couldn't appreciate it at the moment, I made a mental note to remember how young and cute the tow-truck guy was and the fact that he kept saying his name and pointing to his number on the business card he handed me.

My work called me back to ask if everything was okay, if I was alright, if they could do anything for me.

ReAnne ordered pizza and gave me oils for trauma. She also told me my eyes were dialated and I might have a concussion, but I didn't believe her, until I remembered that I was repeating the same words over and over to myself out loud while I was trying to fill out paperwork before I could finish a sentence on paper. I couldn't write. That's my life, so it's kind of a big deal when I can't finish a simple sentence on paper. I kept trying to write it was 1997 on today's date on the paperwork. I keep making typos while writing this blog post. Probably every third word I have to retype. Ask my friends. I'm a near perfect, fast typer. This is driving me nuts.

I miss paynor. He was a constant reminder that my life was getting better, that going places was freedom. that i could always stop and visit logan if i needed/wanted to.

And now He's gone.

I am extremely tired. I am still in shock maybe. I might have a concussion. I can't believe this happened. I just want to cry. Not sleep. not eat. not read. and not type anymore because it is so frustrating. Deep down I know it will be fine somehow. But when paynor crashed, it's like he wrecked my insides. I'm jumbled and lost.

I just want to use photoshop and make paynor look good as new. I want to write a paper that won't leave room for me to think about anything else. I want to be in the future and teaching so that I'm already past this stage in my life.

Maybe blogging will take the edge off of the situation for me. This sort of thing happens a lot, as the grandma said to me everytime I said sorry to her. I was lucky everything wasn't worse. But still, it happened, and I don't deal well with stress. It seems to all be on the surface today, swirling in my head and making me tired and dizzy, angry and confused, sad and sick, lonely and wishing no one were around.

And like I said, I don't know if people expect to be told when their family members or friends are in a crash, so hopefully if you are one of the people who expect to be told, you read this, because I don't want to tell everyone individually about it. I don't think I could tell people that many times.

August, why'd you go so fast?

I don't know how it is today. I mean I do. The sun rises and falls, or at least the earth keeps rotating. But I didn't seem to realize it was happening.

I got an interview for a job I hope I get. Better pay, benefits, and probably not people who make me want to cry or scream there. I really hope I get it.

My friends moved to Logan, got married, are getting married, or stayed in the City of T, as they call it when they don't want to say the city's actual name. I wish I could combine Logan and the City of T. That would literally be the best place on the earth. They practically belong together anyway.

I was going to go to Sounds of the Sabbath at 9 this morning, but my mom and sisters are sleeping in, and even though I could go back to sleep, I can't really, because I already woke up and going back to sleep is difficult for me. So now I have time to blog!

For those curious, 21 feels like 20, but it's an odd number, so that might throw you off balance if you are an even-tempered person. I'm just a tempered person, like metal, so it doesn't really affect me, but just be aware, alright? I've seen it catch people off guard.

That's my lame attempt at humor. My brain isn't functioning too well this early.

I'm joining another editing/writing group, and this one seems to be specific to scifi/alternate reality/techie/GEEKsquadWORTHY stories, so I'll have a place to go for that side of my creativity. It'll be pretty epic.

And my sister gave me an audrey hepburn journal with quotes in it and audrey on every other page. YAYERS! My mom gave me an AMAZING fossil watch. I love watches so much. I finally saved up enough money to get new glasses and contacts. Kim is letting me read her copy of Mockingjay first--sweet right? She's also taking me to the SLC library, one I have dreamed of going to but never have. And Doug is planning on moving to Utah, so that's an exciting idea.

Also I have a new diet. It is called the free dinner diet of Utah Noodle. I get beef chow mein, a hamburger, or chicken salad every night, and I get a free soda, only I gave up soda entirely once I decided not to drink DP anymore (because if you don't have DP, what's the point of soda?), so I just get a soda for one of my sisters or ReAnne or my parents or someone who's doing me a favor.

People still think I look 15 or 25. I have no clue how that's possible, but it's happened repeatedly. Some customers get shocked faces to discover I'm a college graduate, and some guys get shocked faces to discover I'm probably making them look like a pedafile. I dated another guy who was 33. Don't ask why. He thought I was older than 25 and I didn't think he broke 30 yet.

In the last month, I got ideas for 7 more books. I need to get busy or my brain might explode. But I also want to play sims because I love designing houses and rooms and making people and outfits. It's another type of creativity, but I'm aware it's a complete waste of time.

And I'm running out of new books to read. If anyone has suggestions, say them now...

And that's all the typing my wrists can take today. I'll post some funny moments later I guess.

Almost at its finest

I think I was just involved with stupidity in one of its finer moments.

So remember that guy who told me to be nice when we didn't see each other for a while?

Remember how there's been nothing going on since then?

Well guys are stupid! Wednesday morning, I got a text from Jared man saying that he was at lagoon with his family. He knew I had a passport, so would there be any chance I could meet him there?

I was eating breakfast in west jordan with some friends. UH DUH! wasn't expecting a text from HIM that day. I told him I had already made plans, was in west jordan, and had to work at 3, so I don't think so.

If he wants to continue thinking something is going on, good for him, because it's hard to think something could still be there when we haven't communicated in how long. it's hard work to pretend you have a relationship when you don't.

Geez. what a moron. get some pants dude.

okay, he's not a moron. he just needs pants. i'm just mad because he has all the potential to be the coolest guy ever, but he's a clueless idiot. what a waste

Jaycey's Hobo

My little sister has been so wonderful lately, driving me to work while my car goes nuts trying to figure out if it wants to die or not. I hope it decides to stick with me for a few more years. I love my boat car so much.

Anyway, Jaycey noticed a guy who's always on a street corner on her way home from dropping me off at work. She really loves hobos, wants to help them out as much as she can. So one day she had a few bucks, and she was stopped at his corner due to a red light. She rolled down her window and said I have a few dollars if you want them.

The man got up and crossed the lanes to where she was holding the money out for him, and she could tell it hurt him to walk, and she could see he was almost crying when he said "thank you."

The light turned green after he got off the road. Perfect timing for a guy moving slow and painfully. My sister of course shares her life events with everyone and calls my mom. She tells me when she picks me up from work.

And my first thoughts were "that could've been dangerous, and you don't know when you are getting a paycheck next," and then I cringed inside because I imagined him trying not to cry. Maybe he was in pain and that's what the tears were for, but I don't think so.

I've discovered that lots of things in life are a mixture, emotions particularly. I think that man's teary eyes were due to a mixture of pain, gratitude, hope, humbleness...such and such. This man used to be different. I'm sure he grew up dreaming the impossible just like every other child, and here he was on the street. What kind of rotten luck is that? Maybe it was due to the choices he made, but I don't think people willingly choose to put themselves on the street, no matter what they've done in the past. And some people are just unlucky. It doesn't work out for them.

It made me appreciate what I have a lot more, and it made me admire my sister's get up and go serve attitude.

So when my grandma came to town yesterday and we had half of an ice cream cake leftover, Jaycey said we should bring an extra spoon with us and give it to the man. She was sure he'd be in his spot because he was there every day.

We went past his spot, ready to give him a delicious treat, but he wasn't there. Jaycey was sad, but I think the willingness to give will still bless her. At least she could give it to our cousins. I bet they enjoyed it.

Looks Good to Me, Kid

So part of my job is to help clean before we close. One of the things I clean is the soda fridge, which has three sliding glass doors that always have TEN BILLION fingerprints on them, and they are usually about an inch away from the handle. Really people. Move the extra one inch to grab the handle. I promise it won't kill you.  Ha ha. No, actually those doors don't open easily at all, so I'm not at all upset about the handprints.

But the reason I'm telling everyone this mundane fact.

I was cleaning it last night, and there was a customer behind me waiting for takeout. I felt like the silence was uncomfortable, so I said in a light manner, "You know, it doesn't matter how hard I scrub out here, I'll never get the inside of the glass clean, and if I can't reach the inside glass, so it always looks dirty."  STUPID? I KNOW. I really don't understand why I open my mouth sometimes.

Anyway, the guy is really friendly, so he says a few sentences that I've forgotten by now, but his last sentence was "Looks good to me, kid."

Hmph.

I had a fun conversation with him. But I wonder how old he thinks I am.  People seem to think I'm in high school or I'm 25. Go figure. I think my left side is youthful and my right side is aging.  Dunno.  Can't explain it.

The Lesson from Ogden High

My grandfather went to Ogden High.

I almost went to Ogden High (though, I also almost went to a lot of other high schools, too).

What does that have to do with anything? Let me give you a scenario.

A customer comes to me and says he wants to split his bill in two, but just with a calculator, they don't need two separate pieces of paper. They both have cash, they just want to know what half of their bill is.

I look at it and tell them how much they'll each pay, with a remainder of one penny, so maybe they should thumb wrestle to find out who pays that last penny.

The man looks at me strange and says "You Ogden High kids. Good with the math and jokes."

So I'm thinking back to my knowledge about the school. What I remember has nothing to do with this mathematical/humor fame. While I'm reflecting, I say, "I almost went to Ogden High, but I didn't," just to let him know the truth.

He replies, "Almost, huh? So you're not a freshman anymore. You must be a Sophomore. No more people teasing you anymore, right?"

"No, actually I graduated," I say with a smile on my face. I am trying to stand up taller so that I don't look like such a child, but then I realize that by trying to appear taller, I might be appearing proud that I graduated. I am, but I don't want to come off as prideful.

"Really?" He really is shocked--I know because his face looked it. "Where did you graduate from?"

"Utah State," I answer. Then his wife and his buddy look at me, also a little taken off-guard.

"Wow! Utah State, huh?" I nod, but he doesn't seem to believe me. "What did you graduate in?" he asks, as if looking for proof.

"English, with an emphasis on professional and technical Writing and a minor in marketing," I reply. And then I had to leave because I had to seat a couple. As I smiled and sat them at their table, I couldn't help but think that maybe I should've stayed with Engineering, or Science, or applied for Law School as so many of my English program teachers advised me to do. Evidently, law schools love people from my program. If I had done something else, maybe I'd not worry about paying bills so much as I do right now. Maybe I wouldn't be looking for signs that Utah's economy is picking up enough that companies can afford to hire writers again.

But then I go home to write in my journal. Then I read. Then I write the stories that swirl in my head. A friend asks me to edit a paper. My computer dies and I realize how much information I lost on there, precious information that takes hours to pound out, information that gives me carpal tunnel creating it...

And I realize that I wouldn't want to do anything else other than write. I love to organize sentences, technical or creative. If my life wasn't about words, about organization, about perfecting, about imagining, then it wouldn't be the life I love and look forward to.

I might not have a writing job that pays right now, but I am a writer in my heart, and I will wait for the day when someone is willing to pay me to do what they don't to do, because they'll pay me with more than money, they'll pay me with the opportunity to create more words in more places than I would be able to on my own.

So thank you, man-customer who came in and thought I was young enough to be in high school. Thanks for renewing my passion for writing. And thanks for thinking I'm young, because it reminded me that I am young, and I have time to wait for those writing jobs, and eventually, I'll be able to teach everything I've learned to my students and my children, should I have any.

I guess that's something from Ogden High, even though I never went there. And if I learned something from that school, a place I've never been, I wonder what else I'm going to learn. So life, what's next?

Confronting Ursula

I decided that when I'm tired, I have lots of observations that the world should know about. I'll write about one of those thoughts now.

Ursula should not exist. I'm talking Ursula from The Little Mermaid, not from George of the Jungle--that Ursula is fine. Ariel's Ursula on the other hand is a waste of terrifying space. She is already all-powerful because of her magic and her potions and her blood contracts and whatnot, so why did she need a trident to make her even scarier and WHY on EARTH did she need to get so HUGE? Honestly, the seawitch just kept becoming scarier and scarier as the movie went on. Just when you think you get to know her, BOOM! You don't anymore and once again she is an unpredictable evil lady. She's deadly underwater, and she's deadly on land, especially if she can store your voice inside a seashell.

Don't put your voice in a seashell, people. I mean really, how could that ever be a good idea? Is NOT logical at all.

And so this all-powerful, huge, nasty, scary creature was on the loose, and how do they stop her?

Prince Erik (fine man, that one) pokes her in the gut with a ship.

...dwell on that for a second...

...all powerful nasty blah blah blah...huge...trident...seawitch...

AND THEY POKE HER LIKE THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY???? HOW does THAT solve the problem? I mean seriously seriously seriously. I do not buy that at all. Ursula could not have gone down that easily. She was clearly faking a stupid achilles heel (or stomach) and she is on the prowl out there, waiting for some woman to wish for a man, watching for a girl who is desperate to be something she is not so that she can have the man of her dreams.

Not bashing Ariel. Not really. I love the story. Mermaid falls in love with human, blah blah blah, and I'm thankful that things worked out in the end, and I realize Ariel wouldn't be married to Prince Erik without Ursula's existence because her father never would've changed her into a human in the first place even though he had the power to avoid the whole tragedy...

Like how I talk as if it's all real?

Well news flash to those of you who haven't talked to me about Ursula. I am scared of this woman, because as much as I know she's a cartoon, and as much as I know that I am almost 21 years old and I have no reason to fear pixels of color and a voice overlay, I have this really bad feeling that she's going to convince me to sign a contract with her, or that she'll eat me, or some other event that will lead to my demise.

So world, laugh if you desire. Many have done so, and some people have tried watching the movie with me to help me see if I am over this absurd fear. But guess what? I should be trying to watch it with you so that I can warn you about this evilness that we introduce our children to. I apologize for using the word "to" to end a sentence. Anyway, you should all be aware that Ursula is stronger than she appeared to be, and she will seek revenge on your most beloved cartoon character sometime in the future when you least expect it. Or she will try to eat you in a recurring nightmare.

I realize this is dramatic, and honestly, if I go crazy, Ursula may be the cause. Either that or the number four. But this is something I decided the world needs to know about. And yes, I feel qualified to make that decision.

Ha ha ha. It's always more fun to write a blog when you are super tired.

Morning Mews

So you want to know the news this morning? I mean there's got to be news if I woke up at 6:30, right? Especially since I didn't go to sleep until 2:00...don't judge.

The news is mews!

I woke up insanely early and I was annoyed for a split second before I realized what woke me up.

A little kitten, maybe an inch in front of my face. She weighs as much as a handful of styrofoam. That's the best scientific term I can weigh her in.

But oh baby, I cannot wait until she learns how to properly bathe herself. She has a slight stink. Not too bad, but there's definitely room for improvement. She's stinkin' cute though.

I'm trying to name her by the end of the day. I wanted to name her spit, because she just spat at the dog a lot yesterday. It's shocking when she spits. I don't think I could do anything as forcefully as that kitten hisses and spits.

I'm thinking Regie because I've been listening to a bit of Regina Spektor lately, or Norah, for Norah Jones...but ReAnne has another cat named Random. We had another cat named Chaos, so together they were Random Chaos, so if I can think of another name that goes fun with random, it'd be great. Any suggestions?

FREEDOM!

YOU GUYS!

I'm FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right. I'm an American with a passport, finally! (The passport is the new possession, not the citizenship.)

Thanks for the graduation present, Mom. I always wanted a passport, even though I've never had a reason to get one.

And my picture is so cute. I don't say that often, because I'm not very photogenic. Really, I'm not being modest. My sister Jaycey loves me so much, but even she gives up when trying to take a good picture of me, and she feels embarrassed when she looks at photos of me. Don't worry though, she's not harsh when she tells me so. She says I'm much better in real life, and she just doesn't understand what goes wrong in my photos. Good luck if I get bridals, right? Pray for the photographer, if that day should ever arrive.

And yes, I'm up late. I'm trying to fall tired so I can fall asleep.

Got Drama?

So...you know that saying about it being too hot in the kitchen?

I work in a hot kitchen. Well, I'm not in there all the time. I only yell stuff at the cooks and grab waitresses and sauces and whatnots,

But the hot part of the kitchen is two-fold, a good hot and a not-so-good hot.

There are two guys in there who are SO FUN to flirt with. And they want me to yell at them more often. Ha ha. I don't like yelling, and they can tell. They say I look scared to upset someone. And then they flirt. It's great fun.

So they add some hot to the kitchen, in a good way. ;)

The bad part is the heat that comes from drama. I knew that there could be drama at work, but oh my H! (H stands for headache.) One waitress is always ornery, another is in training, and the other is quiet about everything so I don't know if she's okay or not because she just won't show it.

Being host isn't brain surgery--it's actually a pretty fun puzzle. And it's fun to interact with so many different people and get to know the regulars who've been eating here since they were 2, but the drama...I did not expect so much drama. For now, I've been able to not let it get to me at work, but once I get home, I realize how much effort it takes for me not to tell people to stop taking everything so seriously and blowing things out of proportion.

Man, I tell you what, blogs are great places to acknowledge frustration with the world, but really the job is pretty fun. The food is great, and I get a dinner and soda every time I work. So yummy.

ALSO! !!!! !

I just have to put on new windshield wipers and pay for registration, and my car is good to go!

OH BOY THAT IS EXCITING NEWS! I love my boat car :)

Dreams

I just want to know, how often do you guys remember your dreams, and how often are those dreams absurd? I keep having crazy dreams, but they make for excellent writing ideas. I don't get bored very often because I can always think of the many story ideas I have swirling around in my head, and most of them come from my dreams.  That makes me a daydreamer, but I'm fine with that, because it's the greatest entertainment I have in this world at the moment.

But really, do you remember your dreams and how crazy are they? (Feel free to share a dream with me too. I love hearing other people's random night adventures.)

Also, does anyone keep a dream journal or have you ever heard of one? Maybe I'll do a post about how beneficial dream journals are, because I'm a nerd like that.

Why Are You Wet?

So McDonald's or some other fast food joint put last airbender toys in their kids meals. My little 3 year old cousin got one of the toys that squirts water. Not a lot of water, but enough to annoy someone's face.

He comes and asks to sit on my lap. His shirt is soaking. So are his pants. I ask why he's wet. He tells me about the toy. I tell him it's weird to shoot himself with it. I also tell him to get off me because I do not like wet children.  Love him. But get off me when you are wet, please.

He comes back about an hour later, pretty dry. But he still soaks my pant leg. Then I wonder why only his butt is wet.  He probably was sitting down while drying off, so his butt wouldn't get dry as fast...but I still ask.

"Bud, did you pee on Woody?" (He has Toy Story pull-ups)

He doesn't answer. I try not to do a dance of disgust and rip my pants off.  I succeed in avoiding the urge.

"Hey, do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No," he says.

"Yeah no wonder you don't. You peed on me, didn't you?"

No answer.  I tell him to go sit on the toilet while I get him a diaper instead of a pull-up, because that's what happens when you pee your pants. I put you in a real diaper.

Or at least that's what happens when you pee on my pants.

I'm FAMOUS!

Or at least I'm one of the top results on Google when people search for this question:

why isn't come thou fount of every blessing in the hymn book?

My blog post on that specific question is the 4TH website in the results list from google.

I know because someone left a comment explaining the situation on my cleave website.

Maybe when you look, I won't be number 4 anymore, which will stink because it's my favorite number, but it'll be great if I move up the ranks.

I'm being recognized people. I answered a stranger's question. GRAND!

Thanks for your comments guys :) you are all right. I still haven't heard back from him. I'm not putting more into him. Good news! Lagoon and movie tonight!

5 Minute Playtime

So I went to Walmart with my roommate last night. As I was trying to keep her mind off a stupid boy, I kept thinking about the guy I like and how frustrated I am with him.  I didn't hear from him for about a week (we're rounding up, because it was between 4-7 days. I stopped counting so it would appear as if I didn't care as much). So instead of talking about her guy, we ended up talking about mine...don't ask how that happened.  But the conversation and the event that followed are the topic of this post today.

The last thing he said to me was in a text. Something about sorry about being distant, he still thinks about me and misses me, but he's helping a group of foreigners adapt to his area....to which I didn't respond the way I wanted to: "So you have enough time to do? I thought you said you were busy or you would come see me."

As we're walking out of Walmart, ReAnne tells me to be honest with him and say that I'm frustrated with not seeing him because I don't like talking on the phone and I'm easier to get to know in person.

So I'm thinking about how and when to say this, or if I even need to. It seems like he's dumping me already simply by not being around.  Not that he could dump me. We aren't officially dating.  Which is a good thing, because then I'd feel like this was a bad relationship.

Then he calls.  He says, "Hey, you live in Ogden right?"
Me: "No, I live south of Ogden."
Him: "I was thinking of dropping by.  I'm on my way back from Salt Lake. It was a last minute thing."
Me: "Really?! That's great!"
Him: "So where are you?"
Me: [about 30 seconds explaining where i live]
Him: "So you're with your family, huh?"
Me: "No, with my roommate, but parts of my family live near."
Him: [mumbles stuff...don't quite understand...] "it's just been one of those days, you know, where the less stress you have the better. Where the less people you have the easier it is."
Me: [thinking, wait a second...is he talking about me?]
Him: "....and i've been pushing people away lately--"
Me: [is he just apologizing?]
Him: "--until I figure out some stuff."

He said a few more things. Inconsequential things that I can't remember.  All I know was that whatever he was saying, I was biting my tongue, because I just wanted to yell at him.  I wanted to tell him that he can't just push me away. I'm not committed to be there whenever he's ready.  I don't want him to be more distant that he already is when we don't live around each other.

Finally I interrupt him in the middle of a sentence about him stressing and blah blah blah.  I don't like sitting around doing these word dances about stuff like this. I wanted to get to the point: "Do you want to come tonight?'
Him: "Well, I want to."
Me: "I mean are you going to?"
Takes him a while to actually say it, but he says no. "If I just weren't so pressed for time...next time I'm down I'll make time for you."
Me: "Okay, do that, but if you can't make time for me, don't tell me." (FYI: I said don't tell me because I don't want to know that he's in the area and I can't see him.)
Him: "Hey, way to bite my head off."
Me: "I'm not biting your head off." (seriously, I could bite his head off.)
Him: "Well be nice."
Me: "I've been nice." (and understanding. and patient. and i've been trusting him.  and giving him the benefit fo the doubt...up until this last week anyway).
I was getting ready to explain that I didn't like being teased when he said "Well I'll talk to you later."

I didn't talk much that phone call, and once I actually was going to start talking, he said goodbye. I would've called him back, but he was driving, and honestly, i don't like fighting, and he was so obviously done talking to me.

But I did send a text:

I wasn't trying to bite your head off, I just don't want you to tease me like that, so that's why I'd prefer you not to tell me if you don't have time for me. I like you a lot and I haven't seen you in two months. I don't like getting excited then disappointed in the same 5 minutes. it's an unnecessary headgame on top of me trying to decide if i should put more of myself out there for you.  it might be silly but that's my reaction. plus, i'm easier to get to know in person, and i want you to have the opportunity to get to know me. Drive safe.

I planned on yelling at him, really did. But I've never been good at following through on those types of plans.

But in all seriousness, I'm still yelling at him in my head.  Make time for me or call it quits dude.  I like you and I'd rather not continue liking you because this is not worth it. Especially when you're a jerk and say I'm not being nice about the situation. I miss you, you say you're coming right when I'm about to give up hope on you and go eat all the ice cream in the house, and then you say, oh, you know what? never mind. i've got too many stresses already and people to please. i want to see you, but you know what? that's too hard. i don't want to drive 5 minutes off the freeway.

I don't think it's going to work out, because I am not sorry for my reaction. My reaction was better than I ever could've hoped it would be. I think I would've been justified hanging up on him.  If he wants more from me, he's gonna pay.

But he won't. That's why it won't work out. Too bad he doesn't think I'm worth a detour.

Not My Fault

I am not being offensive, nor am I talking about anything that might be offensive. I'm talking about a cute little bird, one of my favorites. And no, I'm not so juvenile that I like this bird because of its name. I like it because it's a bird and it's a cute bird. Its name is not my fault.

THIS is what I'm refering to when I say "Oh look at that bird! It reminds me of a tit!" A Tit is a type of bird.  Get your mind out of the gutter and stop looking at me like I'm crazy when I say it's a bird and it's one of my favorites. (And I say it 'reminds' me of a tit because although I love birds, I have not paid attention to which type of birds live in which areas, so I'm not confident in my bird-recognition abilities, especially when a lot of them look alike.)

Here's a link to a site full of photography, with a categories dedicated to birds.  If I did the link correctly, it should take you to this category and have lots of pictures of blue tit birds.

I have shaken my head at too many people for not believing me. Well there is your proof.  It IS a type of bird. Stop treating me like I'm dumb.  I know I make up stuff to see if you'll believe me, but I also have a lot of random knowledge, okay? Accept it. If you know another name for this bird, let me know. I know birds have lots of different names, but the bird people I've talked to and learned from call this one a tit. So pardon me, and that was sarcastic.

Also, I'm not angry at any of you.  I'm frustrated with something else, but this seemed like a good outlet. Sorry if you felt defensive.

I don't like water-It evaporates without the decency of telling you it's leaving. And i'm not talking about water. But evaporization sucks when you're swimming.

WHOa Twitter!

Whoa Twitter!

Did you know that you should NOT send twitter updates to your phone?

If you do, you get like ten texts in a row, because once one person changes their status, another person changes theirs, and it's just a vicious chain reaction that only seems to happen late at night when normal people try to SLEEP.

Not that I sleep.  I like the people who tweet me.

But I do get tired.

Also, I meant to send my last post to twitter, not to my blog.  Whoops.  I didn't break my wrists or anything.  My neck's vertebrae are curved, my backbone has been painful for a long time, and i have carpal tunnel.  I'm pretty used to my wrists and back.  The neck is relatively new.  As in about 2 months old.  Maybe.  But ever so curiously, my right wrist was flaring horribly this morning and i'm being extra careful as I type because it's still a little sensitive, and once i notice pain in one area, it's as if the rest of my body's pain is jealous and everything starts complaining about how sore or uncomfortable I am. 

so...no, i didn't break anything chess. :)

but i will break twitter if i forget to put it on silent again.

Back. Neck. Wrists. Please not on the same day. :(

Why Can't We Glee?

So I woke up from a nap about 2 days ago to an alarm that I needed to turn off with a numb hand.

The numb hand was NOT cooperating, and in my waking-fogginess-of-a-brain, I remembered one of my favorite moments in Glee (I don't do exact quotations very well, so forgive me, all of you who are insulted that I don't remember everything I hear word for word):

"What is she doing here?"
"I took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I can't remember how to leave."

I LOVE GLEE.  I LOVE Brittany.  I LOVE Sue Sylvester, Finn, Huck, Mercedes, Kurt, Will...etc.

It just makes me so forlorn that this isn't an everlasting show. I love finales because they are HUGE spectacles, but really, each show is a huge spectacle.  It's amazing!  And the fact that finales exist reminds us that our favorite shows don't last forever.  It's a glum aspect of becoming invested in fictional worlds with fictional people played by real people in the real world who need breaks from acting.

But I was thinking...in a non-extremist-fan type of way...ha ha

If I were an extremist fan, and if I had a video camera, and if I had friends who were at least semi-extremist fans too, then I would probably like to make parodies of Glee episodes.  Because what could be more fun than acting as crazy as the people on that show?

Hypothetically speaking/thinking, of course.  I mean, just because Glee isn't on doesn't mean we can't get our Glee on.
That's what you missed on GLEE!

New Zealand

New Zealand. New Zealand. New Zealand.

There are a few places I want to travel to. Dubai. Ireland. Brazil. Japan. China. India.

But mostly New Zealand.  I've wanted to go since 7th grade.  Yet surprisingly enough, my daydreams have stopped there.

I imagine all the vacations I'm going to take everywhere else.  But New Zealand?  It's like I don't dare imagining it because I'm afraid my imagination won't do it justice.

So I have Gmail, and Gmail has this strip of text above your inbox advertising things related to your mail.  I have my comments on my blog forwarded to my email, and one of my friends was talking about hiking.  I'm not terribly good at hiking, but I'm not terribly terrible at it either.  Hiking is one of my favorite things.

So when the advertisement in Gmail was about a hiking trip through New Zealand, I got excited at the idea.  And I IMAGINED it.  For the first time. 

Maybe this is something weird to get excited about...but...

I JUST WENT HIKING IN NEW ZEALAND, YOU GUYS!!!!

Mind you it was imaginary and nowhere near as cool as it will be in reality...but still.  It was amazing and beautiful.  I recommend everyone take a trip there to hike, whether the trip requires a passport or not.