Quote Blogging: Jay Bon Goh

This is my first official quote blog!  This means that I am featuring another blogger in their own words.  Today I pick my sister, and I would tell you to check out her blog, but it's invite only.  Sorry you all aren't VIP enough for her.  lol.  don't be offended.  she just doesn't like comments from random people i guess.

So here is a short blog post from her:

I learned from that cupcake commercial that you can say anything is the "world's greatest" when it's totally not. So this is now the "world's greatest" tidbit ;)

The word "Howdy" is short for "how do you do?"

Or at least that is what I'm told. So from now on, whenever someone says "Howdy", which is a daily occurrence, I will respond with "good" or "bad" or something of the sort. They will be confused and I will take their possessions in midst of all the confusion.

I will rule the world and it will be great! Thank you Mr. Mills for that tidbit :)

Reading

I have found a new book that I think might go up on my favorites list.  I will reveal it as a comment on this post, because I want you all to pay attention to the following list of my favorite books before I recommend a new one:

1. Harry Potter
2. Ender's Game -Orson Scott Card
3. Daughter of the Forest (I will rate this mature...) -Juliet Marillier (check spelling)
4. Book of Mormon (number 1 in reality, but 4 is my favorite number, so I put it here)
5. Around the Bend -Nicholas Sparks
6. Dragon and Fat Cat (some children's picture book that is hilarious that my mother knows the exact title of, so look for her comment regarding this book)
7. Callico Cow (another children's book)
8. The Host -Stephanie Meyer
9. Midnight Pearls -[I don't know the author]
10. undecided because I have too many favorite books

Okay, now the new book that i have found will be especially great for people who like ender's game and the giver..books like that.  And the book is:

Kindergarten Kiddos

My little sister volunteers at her local elementary school for about an hour because she wants to be a Kindergarten teacher.  Today, she took me with her for her very own show & tell, a special event for the kiddos there.

Upon arrival, I got a visitor badge!  That was so great.  I remember being in elementary and people would walk around with passes, and I wanted one, and here I finally had one!  It was great.

Then I got to watch a "student of the month" assembly in the lunchroom.  I am not sure how many students were paying attention, because it was very loud with chatter, and one girl was so proud that she knew what orange juice was and she wanted to teach everyone around her...anyway, I didn't know if this was an effective assembly, but all of the children knew when to clap, so I supposed they were just really good at multitasking in Wyoming.

Then we took all of our kindergarten kiddos to the computer lab and my sister said I might have to help them log in.  that was so fun!  They just had to spell their name and hit 4 numbers, but i forgot that the order of the letters on the keyboard is out of whack and you have to work a bit to memorize where they are, so I helped a few kids find the letter r and the number 6.  Then I made my best friend for the day: DAMIEN!

Damien is the cutest little squiggly kid who just loves attention, which I was perfectly happy to give him.  He said he needed help untangling his headset, so I untangled it for him.  I looked at the name on his headset baggie and this was our introduction:

"Are you Damien?" I asked.
"Yes!  Who are you?"
"You know Miss Ward?"
"Yes!"
"I am her sister."
"Oh, okay!" he replied and he smiled really big and continued logging in after I showed him where the backspace key was.

Later, I was talking with my sister and the teacher when Damien raised his hand.  I looked over and he said the cutest thing!

"Her Sister, come over here."

He thought my name was Her Sister, and I was called that for the rest of the time until show & tell when they finally learned my name.  Ha ha.  I love that nickname.  Also, children ask the strangest and funniest questions about show & tell objects.  Also, sometimes their questions are really statements about themselves.  Regardless, they are adorable.

So many great things happened in that short period of time that I cannot write them or type them down today.  I have been working on some crafts for a better part of the day and my wrists are a bit sore, so I'm gonna say thanks for reading now.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. My sorely missed friends returned from China today.  I cannot wait to return to Logan, because I know they will be joining me there shortly!  I am really so bittersweetly happy about the fact that they are back in Utah. The only bitter part is that I cannot see them right this second!  Here's a shout out to you guys!

THE REAL One By One, Hoorah, Hoorah!

Okay, so here's what I was originally going to post a few days back:

I hate ants.  They are far too small and they can climb in any direction.  This makes them the perfect sized-and-able foe that I am currently aware of (please, refrain from making me aware of anything else).  I am sorely afraid of them and whenever I see them, I get extremely nervous (not scared!) because I just can't help but think that soon they will be inside my clothes and they might bite me if I try to get them off of me...

That being said...

I found ants on our counter!  Like 20 of them, no joke.  Ew!  So I quick sprayed them with spider poison while squiggly-squirming and squealing, and I wiped them up and threw them in the trash and hoped that they would not mutate and come out of the trash while I was asleep and most vulnerable.  I felt pretty safe, but you never know.

So imagine my surprise when I wake up the next day and there are probably four times as many ants on the same spot as last night!  I know I wiped that counter off, so I have no idea what they were doing there, so naturally I was taken aback because they are obviously there for only one reason: to get me.

So I quick do the spider poison thing, and the trash thing, and start to make crepes.  By the time I have gathered all of the ingredients, there are the SAME amount of ants in the SAME spot as before.  I do the poison routine, and now the kitchen just reeks, so I go to get a fan.  There are MORE ants.  This must be a nightmare, right?  No!  It is real.  So I poison them and I am seriously confused where these ants are coming from, because our kitchen is in the squat middle of the building.  Holes in the foundation?  Who knows!

Anyway, I grab a mixing bowl from my bottom cupboard and the bottom of the shelf is black and twitching.  Um, yeah.  That thing should be white.  There are ants EVERYWHERE DOWN THERE!  So I jump back and start screaming.  Luckily, I am the only one home, so no one can come to my rescue and tell me not to spray the poison on the ants and all over my dishes.  Stupid stupid stupid.

So pretty much I spend 4-5 hours battling ants who kept flowing from who knows where, then a night and a morning washing and rinse-cycling my now deadly dishes and also my roommate's dishes who happens to share a cupboard with me.

Dreadful day.  Bah.

One by One, Hoorah, Hoorah!

So good news: I saw a dog today.

Actually, it was yesterday.  And also actually, I love that line from Elf because Elf is one of my all-time favorite movies, and when I saw the dog, I couldn't say that line to anyone because the only other person around was the dog owner.  In retrospect, I suppose I should've just said it to the dog owner anyway.  Probably would've made their day.  Or they would've thought I was a weirdo...but if they gave me a weird look, I'd just have fun and give them a weird look back like THEY were the one who said something weird to ME.  Ha ha...

Well, that was definitely not what I planned on blogging about.  Hmm.  Strange how things come out like that, huh?  Okay, well I am not going to change the title of this post so that tomorrow I will remember what I was originally going to post and then I won't forget to tell you all the latest news.

Jam-Packed

So recently, I read a Stargate funny from an episode I'm about to watch.  It is a conversation between some human earthlings and some human aliens (humans from another planet...don't worry about it).  Here is a paraphrase of the funny:

Earthling: This is jam-packed.
Alien: That's good. I do like jam.
[Earthlings stare at Alien.]
Alien: Oh I get it.  That's another of those play on words in your culture.  Okay.

So there you have it.  A simple moment in a simple episode.  I found it hilarious, because it has to do with words, and as an English junkie, I love those words.

The only thing is, I said jam-packed three times in a 1.5 minute interval of time today around 2:30.  Yes, I have documented it for the world to see.  "Jam-packed" is jam-packing my jam-packed vocabulary.

Man, I get stuck on words too often.

Miss Write at Night

I have been sleeping in late very consistently lately.  I admit I could go to bed earlier and I wouldn't sleep in so long, but it's not just about when I go to bed.  It doesn't matter how exhausted I am, lately I just can't fall asleep until like 3 or 4 AM.  This is not good news at all.

But the good news is that I found a way to take advantage of the situation.  Last night I was trying something new: I was trying to write songs until I fell asleep, because solving meter and rhyming problems is kind of like counting sheep, and guess what?  It almost worked, but I liked the lyrics so much that I had to get up and write them down.  Lol.  Kinda defeated the purpose of falling asleep.  But after writing, my head was clear, and I fell asleep like that! (I wish there was a snap emoticon.  Ha ha.) 

So apparently the little writer in my head needs to do something every now and then or she won't let me sleep.  At least, I think that's what's keeping me up lately.  Guess we'll find out for sure next time it happens, right?  :)

Finals Week

I have a pretty easy finals week.  No final projects.  No final papers.  Just tests.  And one of them...well, it's not important.  The other one is super easy, though it's still gonna take a while to prepare for it.

But I am very heartbroken over the fact that I am not in a mad dash to finish all of my papers.  I miss making them perfect down to the last detail, hoping that I haven't missed anything, staying up late tweaking things here and there to get the exact effect I want.

It's a puzzle I've missed out on this semester.  I hope I have more papers next semester.  Ha ha.  I know.  Nerd.

Craft Ahoy!

Don't let the title of this post mislead you.  We are not approaching a sea vessel.  (Ha ha...that was a lame joke...).  In fact, this post has nothing whatsoever to do with a ship or pirates or anything, other than you can catch a glimpse of the corner of my sticker guitar, which has a few pirate stickers on it...

Anyway, disregard all of that, because here's what this post is really about:

I made a box!  Actually, that's a lie in a couple of ways.  I didn't make a box.  I just decorated it.  And it wasn't a single box, it was two boxes. Here are photoss with some captionary action below them.  You are welcome.  : )

This box is the perfect size for my glasses and my phone (which doubles as my alarm clock, so it makes sense to put my glasses with my alarm clock--at least to me it does).

This box is for my journal, scriptures, and bedside literature, such as Daughter of the Forest or Ayn Rand.

This shows the other two sides of the box for my various books.

And this is the inside of my book box.  Sorry for the lack of quality in the photos.

Soy Sauce

I smell like soy sauce.  And there is a very simple explanation.

Imagine this: soy sauce all over the kitchen splattered over me and some on my roomie's sock.  What could possible create this situation, you might ask.  If you aren't asking, I will ask for you:

"What could possibly create this situation, Brittany?"

Well, Brittany, I happen to know the answer to that excellent question.

I was reaching for the Fritos in my cupboard.  My Fritos snagged on my soy sauce bottle (do not ask me how.  as far as my eye could tell, the soy sauce was tucked safely to the side and out of the way of the fritos, but apparently, i was horriffically incorrect), and I, being the complete uncoordinated loser that I am, could not catch the soy sauce in time.  In fact, I think I actually pushed it to the floor even faster than gravity was originally pulling it.

So bang, crack, splat.  And now our apartment stinks so bad.  It took forever to clean up, and now i have to wash my pants again that i worked so hard to keep clean all day (because for some reason, i get EVERY single thing on my pants that i can get).  And i did so well and today was going just great, and then i do THAT.

bless amanda's heart.  she told me i'm not an idiot and hugged me, but the apartment still smells like soy sauce covered pizza and mac and cheese.

the good news is that soy sauce isn't too bad of a stainer.  it dissolves extremely well in steaming hot water.  so i am thankful for that little fact.

Yes, Yes That DID Just Happen

So I'm thinking it was two days ago when this happened...

Work hasn't happened this week.  Been trying to ignore the sadness of that fact while looking for other jobs online.  I know that my workload will increase in the Spring so much that I could work overtime if the school would allow me to work more than 40 hours a week...but right now work is slow, and I can't do one of my jobs over the Winter Break...it's just a bit frustrating.  But I'm not quitting.  These jobs are great resume builders, and I'd like to stay with the same job for a real year instead of just a school year or a tax season.

So, aI've been bored with more time on my hands than I'd like to admit (my roomies probably think I'm the laziest kid ever), and I haven't even been blogging.  No excuse for that.  But two days ago, I saw the nintendo in the living room, and it called to me.  I just could not ignore it.  It was taunting me, saying that no matter how hard I tried, I would never beat Larry Koopa's castle. (Larry?  I hope that's right.  It better be after attempting it at least 100 times, no joke.)

So I turned on the Nintendo.  I said that I would at least try 5 times.  On my 4th try, I got to the soup doors and I jumped Larry Koopa into his deadly lava.  I do not know why Larry Koopa hangs around in such hazardous conditions--if I were a big bad boss and I knew Mario was on the way, I would try to find somewhere comfortable for me and let several booby traps take care of the Up-To-Good Hero.  Regardless Larry's leisurely location within his scary and horrid castle, I dodged and jumped and waited and panicked at just the right moments and I beat the level.

Congratulate me.  It only took two weeks.  I thought I would never happen.  That's what I get for thinking.

Megan's Mischief

Does the word mischief look weird to anyone?  I think it is a strange looking word.  Also, it comes in two parts: mis and chief.  is this a misspelling of Miss Chief?  or is it a chief gone amok?  What's wrong with this chief?  apparently it is not a big concern, because they didn't strip her/him of the title of "chief," they just said that s/he is a problemed chief, a mis-chief.  I'm not sure I trust that word.

Oh!  that's why they spell it that way!  you don't trust mis-chiefs or what they do, but you aren't going to do anything about that lack of trust, so when someone is up to no good but you aren't sure what their angle is so you can't stop them, you can use the word mischief to describe what they are doing!

Thanks for helping me figure that out, guys.  I really appreciate that.

Also, Megan is committing mischief because she left me 3 comments on different posts telling me that i should blog because it has been a week since my last post.  This causes me concern.  Why does she need me to blog?  what is she getting out of this?  and why is she so anxious for me to blog that she says the exact same thing 3 times?

I'm not sure what her angle is, but I cannot do anything about it.  Except not blog.  Hmmm....oh well, I'm clicking PUBLISH POST. (i'm not yelling that.  the publish post button is in all caps, so i quoted the capitalization in my reference to the exact button i was clicking.)  (also, parentheses are cool, because it is kind of like you are hearing the whispers and asides that take place in my head.)  (man, these are cool.)

Nerd! Geek! Kid!

I have something to confess.

I am such a nerd.  I am a geek.  I am a kid.

There.  Now that everyone can accept this, I would like to confess how I am each of these things.

I looked up Harry Potter stuff for 5 hours this weekend.  2 of those hours were spent watching videos, looking at pictures, and reading news about the Harry Potter theme park coming to Universal Studios Florida supposedly this Spring (I don't think they will be open by them, especially not according to the photos that were taken last week of their current stage of development).  I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to going to Ollivander's and having a wand pick me.  I cannot tell you how excited I am to have Ravenclaw Quidditch Robes and School Robes.  I cannot tell you how much I want to see the owlery and have wizarding currency and have chocolate frogs with collectible cards of famous wizards/witches in the shapes of pentagons.  All of my white blood cells are buzzing from the thrill of the idea, and all of my red blood cells are soaking up magic so I won't be a muggle when I make my appearance at Hogwarts.

That makes me a nerd.

I also love Star Gate (SG-1!).  Last night, I woke up at LEAST a dozen times (don't ask why, I don't know), and each time I went back to sleep, I would have an entirely new dream about Star Gate.  I had so many dreams about SG-1 that I didn't mind waking up at 7:00.  I was just so happy.  That NEVER happens when I wake up.  Well, okay, it rarely happens.  But really, I was happy in the morning from the moment I opened my big blue eyeballs.  It was awesome!

That makes me a geek.

I played Super Mario World with Megan and we beat the entire game in probably 10 hours collectively.  Actually, she beat it.  I just attempted and beat maybe 10 levels out of the entire game, and that's being generous to my skill level.  But 3 or 4 of those hours were spent on the same castle.  The one BEFORE Bowser's castle.  That was the stupidest level in the entire world of any Mario game ever invented.  I hate that level.  I did such a happy moment with squeals and hugs all around when Megan finally beat that level.  I was getting sick of it.  Amanda even helped us toward the end of our endeavor and it still took forever.  But it was fun, and I love games.

That makes me a nerd and a geek.

And I always want to go to the park or play catch with a football, and now I want to play ninja or volleyball games a lot, too.  I figure that makes me a kid.

The End

Pants of 100

Today when I put on my pants, I knew it was going to be a good day. Something about today's denim just made me feel comfortable with the immediate future. Sounds weird, but don't laugh. I might be a psychic witch or something, and instead of reading tarot cards or minds or bones, I can read denim.

Moving on from that strange statement...

School was freezing. I'm pretty sure this helped me stay awake in my statistics class, so even though I was cursing the stupid people who can't figure out that 40 degrees fahrenheit is NOT an appropriate temperature at which to store humans, I was thankful that I could pay attention to the instructor ramble on forever and forever and forever to make one point perfectly clear to every single (and married) student in the auditorium (which has small, gray tiles on the walls very similiar to the small, gray tiles one would find in gender-neutral public restrooms). The simple fact that I was wide awake in STATS should in itself be enough to make today amazing (I'm hoping that you can sense some sarcasm in this).  But wait! There's more!

I realized that TODAY'S POST is my 100th post.  You, the crowd, may now go wild.  Really, go ahead!  I already did.

And for my 100th post, I am lucky to pronounce the end of a secret contest I was holding on my blog!  I have never posted a picture on this blog (the sidebar and my profile do not count--I am talking about pictures in my post here, people), and for this secret contest, I was waiting until someone said something about posting a picture, and I was waiting for them to point out that I don't ever put pictures up.  So Keara Lei's comment on my Halloween post met part of those requirements (she asked to see a photo of my costume, for those who don't know), and then we chatted online and she said to post the picture on my blog, so that met more of the requirements, but no one had yet said anything thing about me never putting any photos on my blog.  Then Andee came in and filled in the rest of the requirements!  She said she noticed there weren't any photos on my blog!

So for my 100th post, I am proud to declare 2 WINNERS to a SECRET CONTEST: Keara Lei and Andee Leigh!  Congratulations guys.

Also, what the heck took everyone else so long?  It takes 98 posts before someone wins?  LOL.  I'm not mad at all, so don't take it that way.  I just think it's funny it took that long.  So, I'm posting my first picture on this blog, and I'm not sure how often I'll be posting pictures, but there have been some posts that I wanted to post a picture on, but I didn't because of this contest (like the Jello Cake I made!  That was AWESOME!), so I'm sure there will be times when photos will come up.  Please note that the first picture is my school photo from Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  Those good old Ravenclaw days...ha ha!  The best.  (That was my Halloween costume--awesome for makeshift wardrobe, right?!)

So see?  Not at all a bad day.  My pants were telling the truth.  Maybe I should read denim for a living.

Driving Me Crazy

If you know me, you are probably aware that I hate the cold.  I bundle up as if I am allergic to the lack of heat.  So lately, the cold weather has been driving me absolutely crazy.  I just cannot stand it.  Especially if I cannot even go snowboarding, which is the only value to cold weather.

But today I was driven crazy for a different reason: it was warm today, and I wanted to play.  This morning I woke up, did some writing for work, and then headed up to campus to run a couple of places to make sure I got into the last few classes I need to graduate.  Then I went to stats.  All that time, I was wishing I could just sit out on the grass and soak up the sun, and I REALLY wanted to go play at a park.  I love to play at parks.  Yes, I am two decades old, but big deal.  You can suck on my toe if you think I'm too old to have fun.  Don't judge me.  (As you can see, I get rather defensive of this playful pleasure.)

And lo and behold, I went to a park today!  Megan tried to figure out where this really awesome adventure park was while Amanda followed her random directions, and after driving around for about an hour, we gave up and went to a park that we knew the location for certain.  We tossed a football, we played some volleyball games (without a net, thank goodness), and I learned how to play Ninja, and we climbed all over the big toy. I even pretended I was part of Star Gate Command for a bit, but I think I will have to work harder on my play pretend skills.  They are deteriorating.  Climbing up slides is still fun though, in case anyone wonders.

Anyway, I guess the weather will drive me crazy no matter what.  If it's warm, I'll be crazy to go outside, and if it's cold, I'll just be crazy.

Owl City and Mouse House

Owl City is becoming a big hit, and I would like to let people know that a lot of their songs sound VERY similar, but here are some songs from Owl City that I deem worthy enough to grace my ears, ones that I can listen to after each other and not feel like it's too redundant:

• Fireflies
• Rainbow Veins
• West Coast Friendship

I say give them two months tops before everyone hates them.  They are overplayed and their songs sound alike.

Now, click here to read a HILARIOUS post by my mother.  She told me this story over the phone while I was going to school, and I thought I might be late because I could barely stand up let alone walk to my class I was laughing so hard.  Pretty good if you understand that my mom is Courage with a capital C for Connie, and that she HATES wearing shoes in the house, and that she talks to things and animals even more than I talk to the food I'm preparing or the items I'm cleaning/rearranging in my room.

Hallow's Eve

I'd like to link to a friend's blog.  She asked a question, and I wrote a comment that is very fitting for Halloween. Check it out! Really, do it!  Click here.

Also, I dressed up as a Ravenclaw student today.  It was so much fun!  I didn't have a real costume when it came to clothes, but I stuck with Ravenclaw colors, and I had great accessories.  And today isn't even over.  So there's a quick post before I go eat and dance like crazy.

Also, my two of my best friends in China watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie with me, and we chatted about it through Skype, so it was like we were watching it together, so I watched a movie with them on Halloween (my Halloween).  It was great!

Blog n Library

Hey guys!

I thought I'd let you know about a new blog I've started, called Cleave (<--that's a link, for all of you who might not know it already).

I'm still working with the code to fix a few things with the layout that I don't like, but that's just me being picky, and it's totally visitable.  So check it out if you want, and if you don't, then I still have something to tell you!

I have 2433 songs on my iTunes.  It's over 8 days worth of music.  Usually I get a craving for certain songs and artists, so I just listen to them over and over again.  Today I wasn't in a mood for anything specific, so I put my library on shuffle, and something AMAZING happened.

I realized I have buttload of really great music!  It's just such a huge library that there's no way I can remember everything I have.

So, I know you guys probably do that too, but I tell you what, wow!

Fabulous Facebook

You may think this a strange statement.  If that be the case, you probably have no idea about the wonders that Facebook provides the world with.

Put aside the addicts out there of status updates, flair, bejeweled, vampire wars, farm town, farkle, and my recent favorite: street racing (cars...and it has all the koenigzeggs)...

There are miracles at work here.  Facebook was made to grant desires.

Take a hypothetical situation: A girl says she's single, that she ended a relationship.  This notifies all the males in her social network that she is now available.  This could lead to something.

That didn't happen to me, but I'm sure it's happened somewhere.

But what DID happen to me was absolutely wonderful.  I made a status saying that I wanted cheesy bread, Brady style.  This is an amazing bread and I cannot tell anyone the recipe because it is a loosely-held family secret recipe.  Lol.  It's from one of my best friends, Keara Lei.

And Megan read my status....then next thing I know I'm at Smith's...then next thing I know I'm at home...then next thing I know we have Brady Bread!...then next thing I know it's all gone...because I ate it so fast.

It was yummy and facebook and friends are fabulous.  Ha ha.  Lots of Fs.

My tummy is happy, my friends are great, and I miss the ones in China.  Thanks roomies for cheesy bread, and thanks China roomies for introducing me to cheesy bread and practically shoving it down my throat the first time I tried it.  I really do appreciate it.  :)

Pumpkin Walk

For our group project in my Management of Organizations and People class, my team decided to volunteer at the Pumpkin Walk (look it up online, the North Logan Pumpkin Walk) and raise awareness of child safety during halloween and trick-or-treating.

Not gonna lie, I was against this idea from the get-go.  I wanted to throw a masquerade dinner/dance, and half of the team agreed with me, but for some reason this Pumpkin deal worked out...

Anyway, for the project, we got a lot of organizations to donate candy and crayons and coloring books, and we got dentists and policemen involved, and we made cotton candy.  (Btw, it sucks to make cotton candy for 5 hours straight.  Never doing that again.)

Let me tell you a secret that everyone already knows: kids are SO funny!  I was asking kids if they knew how to be safe on Halloween and they'd all nod their head, but when I'd ask them to tell me what they knew about being safe when they went trick-or-treating, they froze, and sometimes great things came out of their mouths.  Take some of my favorite responses:

(2 boys, probably 6 or 7 years old) First boy: "If you touch the door and it's hot half-way up...if the doorknob is hot...don't open the door and then the fire won't burn you."
Me, after a moment of blinking stupor: "Well, that's good fire safety, but do you know about trick-or-treating safety?"
First boy looks stumped, but the second boy is now bouncing up and down with his arm raised high in the air squeaking "Oh! I know!"  I tell him to go for it.
Second boy: "You should always bring a bag, otherwise you'll lose your candy."
I said that was true and resorted to asking them yes or no questions.

A boy, probably 5 years old: "Don't go to dark houses, unless it's your bishop's house, then it's okay."

I explained 3 of the simplest rules (stay with your parents, don't run across the street, and have your parents look at your candy) to a 4 year old, and right after I told her, I asked her what she learned, and she thought for a moment and then replied, "I'm gonna be a pirate for Halloween!"  I laughed, of course, and I told her that I like being a pirate for Halloween, so we could be pirate buddies.

It's Close to Miiiidnight

I taught the Thriller today, and it went AMAZING!

Let me tell you, there's just something about Michael Jackson that pumps your confidence levels up, especially when you get to dance to it.  Especially when people EXPECT you to dance to it, and they want to learn how to dance like you.

It was the best dance moment in my life.

Even though I forgot the order of moves in one part, it went well, because another girl in the class learned the thriller from the same site i learned it from, so I had an extra brain to rely on and another body to demonstrate the moves.  It was so much fun!

We only had enough time to get through half of the dance, but my regular dance instructor is going to take it from there, which is fine by me, because we ended at the exact point that I start getting iffy with.

So, all things accounted for, dancing went well.  If it hadn't, I would've been in a very sore mood today because i didn't finish my stats homework, i KNOW i failed that quiz, and I am pretty sure I'll be taking stats for the rest of my life.  I am not joking.  I am signing up for it this Spring.  Hopefully Keara Lei wouldn't mind helping me fix whatever the heck I'm understanding incorrectly.

My stats instructor said something to us in class that made me feel better.  He said that if we're confused, at least we're confused about something that's complicated.

Also, I made cotton candy for 5 hours last night.  I might do a whole post on that later.  Or maybe not.  But I am ready for this term to be over.  What a nightmare.  Fast-forward please.

Jello Cake

I made a jello cake!

It consisted of layers of 4 colors, and somehow I ended up with a rainbow!

It was great and tall and wiggly and almost fell apart, but it was delicious.

My roomies ate some, and took some pictures of it. They even took pictures of the bowl because it was so cool looking. It just had rings of color around it.

73.XX%

Amazing news.  Just did some calculations on what my grade is so far in statistics, and I found out that my last quiz brought me back up into C territory.  Thank goodness for doing well on quizzes.  I thought it would never happen.  Didn't get a perfect score, but that doesn't matter.  I just need to pass this course.  Although I wish it was possible to get an A, because that would really look good on my transcripts.  But I'm an English major, so I don't know who expects me to do well in statistics anyway.  As long as I pass, I'm good.

And right now, I'm passing.  Phew.  Let's keep it up.

The Thriller

At the very beginning of my hip hop class, all of the students had to say how much dance experience they had. I said the most experience I've had was watching an online tutorial on how to do the Thriller dance (i love mj) but I didn't even finish that.

Last week, my instructor came up to me in the middle of our routine practice and asked if I would teach the class the first half of the Thriller to the class after we mastered this routine, which would probably be This Friday.

With mixed feelings, I accepted. If I had been thinking, I would've asked for her to give me extra credit or free days or something in exchange for facing one of my worst fears: dancing in front of people. It took me a bit to get comfortable dancing with everyone, and now I'm going to dance in front of my class and teach them how to do what I do.

It is good thing I love the Thriller, otherwise I would be so scared right now. But actually, I'm kinda excited. It's no fun to do the Thriller all by yourself at home. I bet it will be awesome with everyone else. Plus I get to tell people to be more Zombie-ish. I cannot wait. Anyone have any good lines I can use to tell people to relax their arms like noodles, to make their fists look more like vicious claws, to look dead? Just checking if anyone can think of a fun way to tell people to be zombie's, because the more they laugh, the more they'll play, and it will look so much cooler if everyone plays along with this awesome dance.

Here's the Thriller tutorial I learned from: http://www.thrilltheworld.com/

Heads Up Before You're Down

I'm not gonna lie. In fact, I'm going to tell everyone the truth. It's not a fun truth either. It's negative. So if you'd rather not read something negative today, no harm done. You can simply close this page and move along.

I'm not joking. I want you all to seriously consider leaving my blog right now. Reading is a choice. Choose to read or leave.

Okay.

This has been a rough two weekends in a row for me. The first weekend I dealt with a lot of external issues. The second weekend was internal torture.

I feel like telling everyone everything that my emotions have turned into, everything that my thoughts have evolved into. But I'm not going to. There's too much and it's not going to help you guys in any which way. I'm not going to give you useless information in this post.

(Just because this post isn't useless doesn't mean that you should read it. This is the last time that I'm telling you that you should exit this post right now if you don't want to read a negative truth about the world I've come to know.)

Right now, I'm simply going to show a human weakness. I'm admitting defeat. These past few weeks have kicked my butt. That's the simple truth. I feel dead and heavy and I'm pretty sure that even dead and heavy people spill saline all over their face.

But in my death, I'd like to warn everyone about something, because I don't remember anyone warning me about this, and I don't want anyone else to be caught off-guard.

Most of the time, your heart and head fight for no good reason, but there are times they fight because you are ignorant about a critical truth about yourself, a truth that you need to change or you'll never be happy. It's those times when neither your heart nor your head will understand you because they are sick of you the way you are.

This is what I believe causes people to hate themselves so often. They cannot justify themselves any longer, not with their head and not with their heart. When you can't justify or support yourself, I don't think it's possible to be happy.

That's when things get really rough. That's when it's easy to give up and just hold on to whatever it is about you or your past that's holding you back from real happiness. That's when you stop your pursuit of happiness, pursuit being an active word, one of the most active words Webster can provide.

That's when it's easy to be scared of failure so much that you'd rather struggle to just be content with your life rather than endure the sweaty, tearful pain that comes from taking a good honest look at yourself and doing whatever is necessary to become the best person you can be, to let go of everything that's holding you back from being a genuine form of you.

That's when I get scared. And I am scared, right now.

If it hasn't happened to you yet, I'm sorry for when it does. It's not fun. But I'm warning you right now, and I apologize for not having any advice to offer--I'm no wiser than you, especially not right now. I'm just telling you the bad part about growing up that I don't remember learning.

But if it doesn't happen, then I wonder why you are so lucky to be brave enough to fight the worst parts of yourself, and I envy you.

Before anyone comments, I know things will get better. I know this because I'm going to make them better and I'm looking for good things, the simple things that I can enjoy in life. And I know that this post is really negative. I accept the possibility that this post isn't the Truth for everyone, but it's the Truth for me, and I'm willing to bet that it's the Truth for at least one other person in this big world.

But don't anyone try to argue against the fact that right now, I've got a painful growth spurt to initiate, and I'm not looking forward to the journey. I'm not saying that I'm hopeless or that I'm giving up. I know I can do it, and I'm determined to succeed. I'm just hoping that the journey doesn't take too long, and I'm frustrated that I didn't realize how hard this was going to be until just now.

I hope no one looks at me weird for being so honest today. I just thought you all deserved a heads up from what I've noticed about the world I've come to know.

Trust and Truth

I just watched the House, M.D. Season 6 premiere, and let me tell you something, that show makes me reflect on myself more than I like to sometimes.

I'm not going to ruin it for those of you who didn't watch the premiere yet (notice that I make the assumption that you'll eventually watch it, like you care), but I would like to talk about what it made me think about.

This whole episode was about trusting other people. Trusting other people not to hate you or treat you differently because they know the truth, whatever the truth is. Trusting other people enough to say what you think and what you feel. Trusting other people enough to trust yourself, too. Trusting yourself enough to understand that you don't mean to make mistakes, so you should just say sorry as best at you can, fix what you need to fix, and most importantly to move on and be happy and keep being happy.

Let me tell you a truth about me.

I hate talking to people. I don't want to tell people what I'm really thinking about most of the time, because I think about a lot of weird things. I make observations that people think are a waste of time, but I hope that maybe they will engage in conversation with me long enough to discover something new and thrilling about the world, and I hope that if they play along with me for real, not just to appease me, we can come up with fun ideas and perspectives together. I think about things people said days ago, weeks ago, years ago, and people think I'm weird for remembering those things in such detail when most of the time I have to be reminded that I'm eating. I really freak out when I talk to someone because I don't want them to realize just how weird and scattered my thoughts are, because that would mean they would realize how weird and scattered I am.

Let me tell you another truth about myself.

I don't like to let people know that I need and love them and that I want them to need and love me back. I don't like to let people know I miss them because I have this insane belief that I need to do everything on my own and that means I should be able to be on my own for any length of time without missing people.

But I miss my family. I miss Jaycey being in my face and sitting on me all of the time. I miss Kim quietly supporting me and keeping me upbeat about life because she watches me and knows when something is on my mind and when I just want to have fun. I miss Allison growing up but still remaining the perky crazy kid that I love who surprises me every time I see her. I miss Mom nagging me to clean up the trail I leave through the house and glaring at me for stealing a drink from her water cup and giving me advice and forcing me to relax and have fun. I miss Doug making sure that I've got everything I need and cracking jokes and jumping off the couch or throwing the remote while watching the Seahawks. I miss Dad playing witty games with me and teaching me about technology and showing me the genius people, places, and things of the world. I miss having fun with my aunts and uncles and cousins, and I miss the stories I hear when I'm around all of my wonderful grandparents. I miss my stepmoms and how all of them worried about if my sisters and I were enjoying our visits with them and how they wanted to make sure we spent enough time with our dad, and I miss the friendships that I developed with them.

I miss my friends, the ones scattered across Utah and across the country. I've missed Ammon Malmgren for a long time now, since 10th grade when he moved to Texas. I've missed Keara Lei, Chelsey, and Becca so deeply since they left for China in August.

Let me tell you another truth about me.

I am LDS. I'm not just LDS because I was baptized. I'm LDS because I became converted, and the more I hear about the LDS gospel, the more it makes sense. It's like puzzle pieces coming together to show me a picture that I've already seen before. At first this gospel wasn't anything too big or spectacular to me. I've grown up with this church in my life, but I started questioning it one day, and I realized that it sounds a bit crazy. But that craziness goes away once you start fitting the puzzle pieces together, once you start collecting all the pieces of the gospel and really look at them. It makes sense. It feels right. And it feels good. And I'm finally allowing myself to just enjoy that good feeling and not block it out.

Let me tell you one more truth about me.

I'm always nervous to blog. I don't know how my blog posts change people's perception of me, and I hate to change people's perception of me because I'm afraid that it will change for the worse. But I'm reading other people's blogs, and I'm discovering that I enjoy reading the blogs about people and their thoughts and reflections on the world, and so I try to include my perspective of life as often as I have the courage to. This is one of those moments, a moment that I have the courage to post something that says things about me that I wouldn't usually bring up in conversation, things that I'm worried about telling people because I don't trust them enough to give them information about me, my thoughts, and my feelings. It seems simple, but it's so much harder than it sounds.

So thanks House. Thanks for teaching me something new so often. Thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone and encouraging me to live my life in ways that make it interesting and sincere. Thanks for making me figure out what's really going on around me and making me take a good, honest look at myself. Here goes another click of the great and mighty publish button.

Quick Quote

I'm staying up pretty late tonight. Took a 5 minute break to look at the weather, my horoscope, and a quote of the day, and I'd like to share this one, because it's something I need to do more often. I save my best for the people who haven't done anything to deserve the only best I have to give. Then the people I care about most get the stupid version of me, the version that is too worn out from either being extroverted with strangers or introverted alone. I need to save some of the best of me for the people I care about. Anyway, here's the quote that got me thinking about that:

"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers." -Maya Angelou, American Poet

Grandma G

My Grandma Great (great grandmother) died this morning, and I thought I should document it. She was a funny lady and I remember laughing a lot when I saw her. For some reason, I used to get really nervous going to her house. I think this nervousness was due to an experience I had at her house as a child.

When I was little, I visited my Grandpa and Grandma Johnson's house and I think it was around Halloween, because when I visited, I was very excited about the idea of candy, even fake candy. During this trip, Grandpa Johnson was playing pretend with me that his couch pillows were made of candy. I'd bring him the couch pillows and he'd pretend to eat them, and they were SO yummy to him, so I'd giggle at how animatedly he pretended to enjoy eating the pillows as I run around the room getting more pillows for him to eat.

Then came the disaster.

After he bit "into" one of the pillows, his face went wide with shock, and he showed me his hands.

some of his fingers were missing.

A little known fact to me when I was that young, my grandpa was missing fingers. I think it is because he played with fireworks or something. my mom will probably correct everyone on the finer details of this story.

but i thought i had made him eat his fingers, and i was so sad and troubled and scared. and so the game ended and i was pretty much traumatized.

after a couple of visits when i was old enough to get over that horrible experience, i realized that my grandma was sweet and funny. i don't remember any grand experience i've had with her, just a lot of little ones where i was hanging out at her place and enjoying being there and talking with her, seeing the pictures of my ancestors and listening to stories, eating some bread and jam...just a lot of little stuff.

and i'm sad that i didn't visit her more, but i'm glad that she's with grandpa now.

end entry.

Freaking Idiots

How often to I truly feel hatred toward stupid people?

Well not very often, because I try to avoid stupid people. But there was an instance that slipped through my normal defenses. So today, I'd like to record an instance of stupidity, stupidity of self and of others.

At the beginning of this term, I was taking two stats courses. In short, I got sick of it and decided to try to appeal my business stats to fulfill the University requirement that my other stats class was meant for. But I have grants and scholarships and I've taken out a loan for school, right? Say right, because it's true. So before I began the appealing process, I asked the financial aid office if dropping from 11 to 7 credits would affect the amount of money I had been awarded this semester. They said that since I was still between 6 and 12 credits, it wouldn't affect me at all. They assured me of this, because I asked several times in a couple of different ways. Because I get worried about things even if people tell me not to worry about them.
So I appealed, and I was able to drop my second stats course. This would me time and money, which was sorely SORELY needed to pay for rent, food, bills, and car insurance and registration. Also, I need to take the MAT (or the GRE) soon so that I can attend grad school in the Spring.

Oh, by the way, I've talked to someone on the Board of Those-Wielding-Power-to-Accept-or-Deny-Grad-Students, more commonly known as the BTWPADGS (Yes, I just made the name of that board up, but I talked to someone in charge of admitting grad students) and he said that I meet all of the requirements and that I just need to go through the motions, and score well enough on that test.

Anyway, I found out that i had a $200 balance on my account for USU. not as in they would refund me that money. balance as in I needed to pay that much. So I went to my financial advisor and said to her (not sure of exact words here, so i'll wing it), "so, uh, what the heck? i came in here an asked if dropping a class would affect me at all, and i was told that it WOULD NOT affect me at all. so what's up with me PAYING 200 dollars all of the sudden?"

pretty much she told me, (not sure of exact words here, so i'll wing it), "well, looks like someone didn't know what they were talking about, and there was pretty much one week that you could've dropped the class and screwed yourself over, and you picked that week to drop your class. I can't do anything for you."

She then proceeded to explain to me ALL of the reasons why this was impossible to get out of. So I went to the cashier's office and asked if i could set up a payment plan (because clearly I cannot afford a sudden 200 dollar balance. i am praying that i can afford my next rent payment in time). They tell me that setting up a payment plan wouldn't help me (and I verify that it would not help me, it would make me pay more and i'd still have to pay it all by the same date).
So pretty much i need to make an extra 200 bucks by the end of this month.

Say What? Are you reminding me that I was already trying to come up with money for rent and car insurance, that I really can't put that many hours into work if there's nothing to do for the next week and a half? Oh, right. Hmmm. I guess I forgot about that.

Can everyone just agree with me that some lady at the financial aid office is an idiot, and that I was stupid for trusting her even though I was trying to go to valid sources of information to make responsible decisions? Yeah, not trusting people based on their position anymore...
I wonder how much I can make by "donating" plasma. can i do that when i'm on birth control?
maybe i'll sell a kidney.

i just can't wait to see how i figure this one out. time for tithing blessings to come forth.

Just Listen!

Okay, I have got to beg you:

Do NOT do your homework while you are reading my blog. Do NOT multi-while you are reading my blog. Because I want you to listen to me. Because whenever I have a strange idea that I want to share with people, they are busy and cannot listen. This is not their fault. For some reason, I just have the worst timing all of the time.

So listen to this:

Let's say someone has two email accounts, account A and account B. Now, let's forward all of the emails from account A to account B in the settings for Forwarding and POP. So now B gets a copy of all of A's emails.

Now let's forward all of account B's emails to account A. Now A gets a copy of all of B's emails.

So my question: Does that mean you'll have a never-ending cycle of the same copies of emails going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth...between the two email accounts?

I think so.

And if that's true, and if I did that with two Gmail accounts, the amount of space i used in those accounts would increase at an exponential rate. You would probably have to use a LOG formula to figure out the specific details of that growth factor and you would have to base it on the statistical rate at which I receive emails.

That being said, do you think Google would send the FBI to my apartment to figure out how I was taking over the internet's memory? Or could I just keep collecting memory and eventually sell it, like property, when I delete those email accounts?

Just a thought.

More Songs

Guess what? I've got more writing to share with you guys.

Here are two poems I wrote that I intend to use with my guitar. Or someone else's guitar. And actually only one of them is done. And they are influenced by artists like Madeleine...something or another...and Norah Jones...maybe a little KT Dunsten. Actually, I don't know if that's right. Hmm. Well, you should also know that the second one isn't finished. I've got half of the first verse and a chorus. It's not much, but it's a good start, I think.

ALL THEY SEE
I feel like a wind chime
Or maybe a guitar
Perhaps I am a clarinet
Or a piano at the bar
I'm making simple melodies
and people listen on.
And though I'm hollowed out inside
All (that) they see is song

Gentlemen in the corner
They laugh and wag their tails
They point out my mistakes and flaws
They make me weep and wail
Yet here I'll play my pretty noise
So they can listen on
And though I'm hollowed out inside
All (that) they'll see is song

How long 'til my hollow fills?
When will my empty end?
Can people see through melodies
And finally comprehend
That I am hollowed out inside
Or will they just see song?
I guess I'll play my pretty noise
Since they just listen on
I'll keep on making melodies
'Cause all they see is song


MY WORDS
...
...
Staring out the window at the green side
Can't figure it out, believe me I've tried
Fishing for a feeling
But I'm shuffling 'stead of dealing

Where are my words?
What's on my tip?
My tongue holds still when I want it to slip
Where are my words?
Why don't they rush out?
I can't even whisper when I want to shout
Where are my words?


Oh! And I don't know if I posted this yet, but I thought of this in the car this summer. I'm trying to figure out ways to expand it into it's own cheesy song:

The sun's breath is kissed by the wind
I can feel it on my skin
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
The moon glances softest beams
They wrap around me or so it seems
When I'm with you
When I'm with you

That's it. No real news. I don't have a terribly hard work load. I just need to keep on top of it. The hardest part about school and work right now is how often I have to keep in contact with people. And I still need to put the finishing touches on a photoshop project for a friend...dang. That's like a week overdue. I need to work on writing things down in my planner...

INFP

If you are one of my many facebook pals, you may be one of the people unlucky enough to know that I love taking quizzes. Even if they are stupid quizzes, like "Are You a Potato?" (BTW, that's a classic quiz. Love it.) So naturally, I was bound to run into a quiz result that I wanted to share on my blog.

I took that stinking personality test that gives me a different result every time I take it (I must not know who I am, because apparently I consistently answer incorrectly, otherwise I would have the same result every time). This time I agreed with about approximately 94.76% of the personality profile it constructed based on my responses to the quiz's questions. I most like this statement:

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching.

So I think, heck, it might not be an accurate quiz, but hello? Has anyone ever heard me speak? It's generally a miserable experience. I have to start my sentences over more times than the average person starts their sentences over, and the fact that I'm an English major puts even more pressure on me to speak correctly. When I make mistakes in speech and people point them out to me, I usually remark on the fact that I paid a lot of money to learn how to use words and grammar properly, and I'm not going to be a good speaker unless someone pays me for my skills. But really, it's a cover. I make mistakes and I cringe at myself a lot of the time.

So yes, I'm awkward and uncomfortable with expressing myself verbally. But I love paper. Paper gives me multiple chances, and it doesn't provide any feedback. It's just a canvas, and I can work on it as long as I need to until I feel comfortable and confident about what I've said. And I already know that I like counselling and advising and teaching and leading and related activities. So happy day, what a test result!

Also, question: does anyone have special ways to prepare ramen noodles or to use peanut butter? I've got those food items in my cupboard, but I've been ignoring them lately. I want a way to make them more appealing.

Holly Lisle

I've signed up for a monthly email from a writer name Holly Lisle (that's me making a reference for the content I'm including in this post). When she isn't writing, she's encouraging other writers to write. So her life is pretty much dedicated to writing, either doing it or talking about it. I recently got an email that I think applies to anyone in any field. It's encouraging for anyone with talents, passions, and people who might be torn between the two.

So I thought I'd share it. I'm starting in the middle of her email, so keep that in mind if it doesn't make sense at first. And substitute the whole writing idea with whatever you love to do.

"...on some level you know it, but that level can get buried pretty deep in the mire of "You should write because you're so good at it," or "You owe the world your story," or "You're wasting your talent if you don't do this."

So right now, let's clear out all that deadwood. You do not EVER owe anyone your story.

Okay... This is not entirely true. If you've signed a contract with a publisher and taken their money, you owe THEM your story. But right up to the moment where you cash the check, NO. You do not own any debts you did not choose, and that includes obligations to the world at large or any subset of it to teach or share what you know.

Next point: Writing a book because you're good at it is one of the worst reasons in the world for doing it.

Doubt me? Okay. How about this? You are the best toilet cleaner your mother has ever seen. You're awesome at it. You hate cleaning toilets with every bone in your body. Do you think you should make toilet cleaning your career just because you can do it well?

No? Of course not. And for an awful lot of folks, including an awful lot of folks capable of stringing words together well, writing is right down there with scrubbing under the toilet rim in entertainment value.

Finally, the "You're wasting your talent" line.

A little story here: When I was a kid, my father wanted me to grow up to be a famous artist. That was how he phrased it, too. "When you grow up, you can be a famous artist."

Emphasis on famous. Emphasis on artist.

As a kid, I drew well. He taught me, I learned on my own, and I got to be pretty good. I had an art school picked out for when I graduated, until I found out I couldn't afford it.

I got a job as a commercial artist instead, doing handpainted signs and billboards. Some of it was great decorative art.

I LOATHED the work. I hated the smells of paints and fixatives and thinners... the kerosene heat in the studio ... the way my hands cracked from the cold. I hated the complaining customers, dealing with my employer's bill collectors, waiting for work to come in. It was a miserable job. So my brother and I set up a little silk-screening studio, designing our own T-shirts.

And I hated that, too. I discovered that I didn't want to be an artist, famous or otherwise. I simply didn't like the work.

I eventually became a writer, and as a writer (though somewhat famous, at least in my own small circles) I was a huge disappointment to both my parents.

But I was happy. AM happy.

I am doing what I love.

Write only because you love to write, because sitting down and weaving a tale out of thin air makes your heart sing and your pulse race. Write ONLY because it makes you happy.

There is no other good reason to do this job."

The End of Time

i ate lunch at 10:30 AM today, but it's totally not my fault. i had no idea it was that early in the day. all i knew was that i was hungry, and the display on the microwave insisted that it was the END of time.

i'm just disappointed with myself. i'm disappointed in my selection of a last meal. clearly, even if i knew it was the last thing i would eat, i would still settle for the fastest possible solution to hunger. a frozen dinner.

*yes, that means i had a SmartOne Ziti frozen dinner for second breakfast, like a true fat kid (or a hobbit...).

and then today, while i was for some reason looking through all of my posts under the edit funciton in my dashboard, i realized that i had a lot of drafts. it was fun looking through them and deciding what to delete and what to save...

until i realized something.

i had 2 drafts before my 40th post.

and the number of posts displayed on dashboard that i went by when counting how many posts i've done, well that is the total number of posts, drafts included.

so now i know why it is the end of the world. that microwave was trying to tell me that it will not allow me to see any more numbers because it knows what i did. it knows i betrayed numbers around the world. i lied about my 40th and, more importantly, 44th posts! i horrifically offended the number.

and now, i feel my heart sadden as the day darkens around me. today, Tuesday, September 8th, will be a day to mourn. it is the day i realized that i am a traitor.

how on earth am i supposed to enjoy taco tuesday now?

*note: i am exaggerating. i am EXTREMELY disappointed in my counting and the fact that i didn't double check, but i will most definitely still enjoy taco tuesday as always. food is more important to me than being correct.

Splash

I got another award from my amazing friend Andee (visit her blog here) called the Splash Award.

I've added the award to the right column of my blog (scroll down to see it), and as a recipient of this award, I have the honor of awarding it to other worthy bloggers.

I don't have much time tonight, so I apologize for not making excellent introductions and speeches for each of the winners, but I would like to congratulate:

1) Jaycey (click here to visit her alluring blog full of amuzing posts for friends and family. *NOTE: it is a private blog, since i last checked), and

2) Rebecca (click here to visit her impressive blog full of inspiring posts for writers).

I think both of you are more than deserving of this award, and I would like to thank you for sharing your perspectives on life and writing!

and of course, congrats to me!

Found This...

So I found a video that I took after USU's 2008 Paint Dance. I went with Becca, Keara Lei, and Chelsey. Chelsey is outside during the filming of this video (at least that's what Jake says in the recording). Anyway, it was a fun thing to find in my archives. I apologize for all of the motion. I am much better with a camera now, I promise. But just in case you can't deal with moving cameras, just skip this post. NOTE: I previewed this post, and the video on blogger is a lot darker than the video on my computer, and the quality is lower, so I apologize for the lack of quality as well as the constant motion.

And, just so you know, paint is very hard to wash off of anything. And I had the shortest hair of the bunch, so I had the easiest time cleaning up. Still completely sucked, though. Ha ha.

HAPPY jaycey BIRTHDAY!

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My little sister turned 17.

She's so little. I don't think she'll ever grow up.

ha ha.

just kidding.

i think she's coming along just well.

Happy Birthday, and many to you.

It Found Me

Before I tell some fun stories, I want to post about something that kinda scared me today.

Last night I got all my homework done at 10:30. Yes, I did it on the Sabbath. Sorry to those of you whom that offends. But I was proud of myself for finishing that early. Usually I put it off forever, but good ol' Amanda was being such a good example that I decided to study with her in the kitchen (also, I would have been bored if I didn't study anyways).

But then Megan came home. And we stayed up watching Stargate until 1 AM, I think. I should've gone to bed, but oh well. Mondays I don't have any classes in the morning, just an institute class, so I wasn't too worried about skipping one day of it. I promised myself not to stay up so late again (just like I always promise myself).

I set my alarm for institute anyways just in case I felt rested enough in time to go. If I still wanted to sleep, I thought I should still at least wake up to tell Megan that I wasn't going with her. Just a courtesy alarm.

So I texted Megan. But then I couldn't fall back to sleep. So 10 minutes before I had to start walking to make it on time, I changed my mind and decided to go to institute.

Keep that in mind while I update you on what happened Wednesday in institute.

On Wednesday I went to Doctrines of the Gospel with Megan and Amanda. Megan recommended this class because it is taught by Brother Jacobs, one of her favorite instructors. And I trust her, so I followed my instincts of trust and followed her into a classroom full of people even though it would probably get hot and sweaty and stinky in there before class was over (it didn't).

Brother Jacobs wanted everyone's picture, and so sections of the class would leave during the lesson to get their pictures taken in the hall. When I finally got in line, I was thinking to myself, "I bet I could walk back into the classroom without anyone noticing that I didn't get my picture taken."

So I tried it out to see if I could do it. I put on my sly suit and turned right as someone passed me on their way back into the class, and I followed behind them at a leisurely pace. I don't think anyone noticed. I was thrilled at such a stupid accomplishment, because hey, I love being sneaky, and this really wasn't hurting anything. I was sure that Brother Jacobs would recognize my face when he realized that he didn't have my picture.

I also didn't sign the role because I wasn't registered for the class yet and I didn't want to make the secretaries register me just because I was lazy (they would try to register me if I wrote my name on the role).

So that was Wednesday.

Today in Doctrines of the Gospel, Brother Jacobs opened by calling out certain names and telling those people to go register because the class was closing and no one else could enroll after that (because the class was too full). One of the girls (my obnoxious roommate Frankenstein with the voice of a booming supersonic explosion that will deafens the heavens) really was registered even though she was on the list, so she didn't go. But I DID go, because I didn't want to be kicked out of the class for procrastinating.

And while I was going over there, I thought to myself that I should just go back home and go back to bed so I could find a different institute class to take on Mondays and Wednesdays. But for some reason I didn't. I stuck around to risk getting caught as the girl without her name on the list who's being sneaky and signing up.

Luckily the registrar secretary ladies just counted the number of names on the list and registered me.

On my way back to the class, I could not help realizing how lucky I was that everything had just worked out...at least for now. I hope Brother Jacobs doesn't find out and tell on me.

But the lesson today gave me the answers I have been praying for for a long time. It was a HUGE deal, because this lesson proved to me that I'm not crazy and that I really believe in the CJCLDS. It verified one experience for me, and in that experience, it verified so many wonderful truths that I was thinking...

I almost missed out on that.

I risked missing out on that lesson.

I nearly missed out on that because I keep listening to the big voice inside my head that tells me to do stupid things just for the heck of doing it. I keep trying to be sneaky and tricky about things that don't matter, only here's the thing:

Everything matters.

So many things added up to distract me from going to institute and hearing that lesson. Not putting my name on the role. Not getting my picture taken. Staying up. If Frankenstein didn't register. Almost going back to bed. Not registering. Almost going back home...

I'm so glad that somehow it all worked out, because that lesson found me. I'm so glad it found me against everything that it was working against.

And I AM even 20 now!

No one's gonna tell people about my accomplishments and say:

"And she's not even 20 yet!"

That is a happy fact, because it always embarrasses me, as much as I appreciate people thinking that I'm awesome enough to brag about that way. But the truth is that I'm not that awesome. I'm just stubborn. Ha ha.

August 28th was my 20th birthday. I got awesome cards from my family, lots of wall-writings on facebook, tons of texts and voicemail, an email from China, and an AWESOME surprise that I totally wasn't expecting.

I came home from school (disappointed that my class was a let down because we didn't have a quiz and we discussed everything I had already memorized about the history of the management of organizations and people, so it was super boring), and I was caught up in my own little world of texting and iPod music/dancing on my way to my room. I standing next to my bed when I took my backpack off, and as I lifted it to put on my bed, I realized there was something there, something that I didn't put there. I got a little scared because of the foreign object in my room, so I stepped back and realized that there were LOTS of foreign objects in my room.

there was a posterboard with writing on it that i couldn't comprehend in my stunnedness, balloons in my favorite colors, a large white box with real ribbon on it, and a card. So naturally, I said

Whoa.

And I stared at it for a couple of seconds, trying to read the posterboard. After a few tries, I finally focused enough to remember the alphabet and how to read words. It was a happy birthday surprise!

I came out of my room and looked down the hall and Amanda was standing there with a big grin on her face, then Megan popped her little joyful head out of her room and we all went back in my room to unwrap my present and read my card.

The card was BEAUTIFUL. and the present ROCKED. lots of scrapbooking paper and stamps and some runner glue refills (always desperately needed!) and oh my goodness it was all so perfect i couldn't contain my joy. i think i hugged those twins at LEAST a dozen times each and i couldn't stop jumping up and down.

then cassie came over and we went to tandoori oven. YUM!

then andee came up and we made cards and had confetti cake and aggie ice cream and watched 50 first dates (FUN! YUM! YUM! FUN!)

and...i'm tired so i will blog more later. but my 20th birthday totally knocked my socks off, and while i was sad that i didn't have everyone there, the people who WERE there made it a birthday that i will never forget. :)

Managing Pregnancy

So I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE love LOVE my management of organizations and people course (stats can die, and hip hop hasn't really started yet).

This summer, I had a Fundamentals of Marketing course that was about 3 hours long EVERY DAY. Anyone who knows me realizes that I cannot sit still and be quiet for that long.

But

This class was discussion based, the instructor had great stories and props, and it was pretty much playtime based learning! It was awesome, and so was the material.

Now this management class...it is even BETTER! Today my professor made a chef hat out of printer paper, wore it, and explained how management is like baking cookies. I could barely contain my excitement when I discovered his great sense of humor as he concluded by saying, "Man, that makes me hungry. Does that make you hungry? Talking about management?"

Let me tell you, that is not the best joke he had today. I am very pleased with my investment in this course. And my minor in marketing. I am very pleased. Statistics courses will be worth the effort.

Next topic.

(Disclosure: I'm being inappropriate and saying that I am a virgin, and I don't plan on changing that fact until I marry. Hopefully since this is in parenthesis, it will not be such an inappropriate thing to say on my blog. Keep this fact in mind as you continue reading.)

If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was pregnant.

Let me tell you why.

My sense of smell is very acute and has been for a while. Let me tell you, for as many delicious smells as there are in the world, there are at least 7 horrible smells. It's a 1:7 ratio, trust me.

I will give you an example of one of my meals in the past 3 days. Most of my meals have been this involved. First stage: full Totino's combination pizza. Second stage: hamburger, pineapple, chips, cookie, watermelon, another cookie. Third stage: strawberries. Fourth stage: Coldstone. 5th stage: strawberries. I still wasn't full. Go figure. I remember saying to my friends at one point: "Does anyone else feel sick?" But that moment passed in less than two minutes and I was starving again.

My period stopped. (Whoops...forgot the disclosure this time...hmm.) Perhaps this is just a coincidence, but still.

And last but not least, I had slight morning sickness. I mean, yes, I usually feel sick when I eat breakfast, but this sickness prevented me from eating breakfast at all.

Yesterday I had a mood swing toward the deep dark dense depths of depression. I am most wonderfully happy today. I think pregnant women have mood swings like this, but it might just be because they are women and have nothing to do with the fact that they are pregnant.

Next topic.

Question to everyone reading this (my roomies and I have discussed this to a certain degree):

How tall does a bowl have to be to be considered a cup? (*Notice the two To Be's in that sentence. Weird, but it's correct.)

Right...wait, what?

My coworker asked our facilitator the difference between USU and U of U, because the facilitator attended both places, and my coworker is curious about things like this.

The reply was excruciatingly funny.

For half an hour, our facilitator talked about the class he's teaching this fall, the classes he taught last year, the way the No Child Left Behind program is affecting what students are expecting from universities these days, how many articles he's written and how his King Lear article is required reading for some German professor...

I have no idea what else he talked about. I wasn't really paying attention. My coworker actually left me alone with the facilitator for a while.

And at the end of the conversation, when the facilitator was trying to make a conclusion to his monologue, he said:

"So that's uh...that's...well that's just um...something interesting."

He couldn't remember what his point was or what he was talking about or why he was talking! It was so funny!

So he just moved on to another topic.

Let me say that made me LOL in caps.

I actually made faces behind his back while he was facing my coworker. That was the best part of the day.

Anyway, 30 minute monologue. At least 30 minutes.

And I can laugh because I do it too.

Zombie Chicken

I don't know if anyone noticed, but I got a wonderful surprise yesterday that I prominently used.

It is called the Zombie Chicken Award.

As a recipient of this award, I've proudly displayed it on the right column of this website. Scroll down a bit and you'll see it and the description of it.

I find it to be a hilarious and touching compliment. Mostly hilarious though.

Also as a recipient, I have the priviledge of awarding other people with the zombie chicken award, but I have to be careful who I give it to, otherwise the wrath of the zombie chickens will come upon me and the awardee.

But I'm willing to take the chance to give the award to....

drum roll please...

Andee DeMie of "Andee Leigh" at http://anabananandee.blogspot.com/

and

Connie Ward of "Connie's Ramblings" at http://conniesramblings.blogspot.com/

These two too wonderful women have taught me so much with their blogs, and I think they are the perfect candidates for this award (according to the description).

Congratulations you guys! Copy the picture and description and display it on your own blogs. If you want. :)

And congratulations to me! Yeah!

Two Posts in a Day

I know, two posts is a lot. :)

I just want to tell my best friends how excited I am for them to be going to China, and that I am waiting for them to come back so we can party and they can tell me all the awesome stories about China and the kids there that are named after Harry Potter characters. :) I will miss you guys and I love you tons! Have fun!

Also on the topic of best friends, I am so glad that Megan and Amanda are finally moved in! I love them so much. Plus, they saved my life today from a spider THE SIZE OF MY EYEBALL (and I am not exaggerating. Amanda verified that I wasn't exaggerating when she saw it. I'm pretty sure Megan would not deny its size either. I was rather disgusting and scary. I whimpered.)!!!!!

And I am jealous that Megan and Amanda are living together. It makes me miss living with my family. :(

To The Cut

I'm not editing this before I post it because I have to post it ASAP before it's too late.

A friend of mine is going through a rough time, and she feels even worse about it because she knows that she should forgive in order to feel peace and be a "good" person, but no matter what she does, she can't seem to completely forgive. I know that a lot of us think that we forget about something that hurt us, but then we remember it at the most unexpected times, and you have to go through the whole process again. It sucks. I don't know HOW to make that easier, but I know that it's one of the worst things about life--living a heart ache over and over and over again.

I've had my own experiences like this. I'm not going to go into them, but I know that forgiving is hard, and forgiving people who aren't sorry is harder, but the hardest part is forgetting. And when you try to forgive and you can't forget, you feel the pain associated with whatever wrong was done to you, plus the guilt of not being able to let it go. It's not a good combination.

You may have heard me quote my mother several times already, but I’m saying it again: “You are only expected to do your best, and your best changes every day.” I think you should keep this in mind when you are being harder on yourself than necessary.

Do not feel bad about struggling with forgiveness. The fact that you feel bad about shows that you are willing to forgive, and you understand the importance of forgiving. You just simply haven’t found out how to do it yet. There are some things that hurt our hearts so much that it would be unreasonable to forgive right away. God knows that. God isn’t unreasonable. He doesn’t require that you run faster than you have the strength to (Mosiah 4:27). He understands and is willing to help. I can’t tell you how to feel better because each person’s way is different, so I’ve assembled some quotes that you might find useful. the quotes don't give you the answers, but I hope they can comfort you. And I know you love quotes. I put my favorite ones first and last:)

“Do not feel guilty or worry if you are struggling with forgiveness. It is easy to take
scriptures about forgiveness out of context and assume we must be immediately ready to forgive even serious harm from others.” –President Gordon B. Hinckley

In the everyday circumstances of life, we will surely be wronged by other people—sometimes innocently and sometimes intentionally. It is easy to become bitter or angry or vengeful in such situations. The Savior counseled, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44).

We should pray for strength to forgive those who have wronged us, and we should abandon feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge. We should also look for the good in others rather than focusing on their faults and magnifying their weaknesses. God will be the judge of others' harmful actions.

“We must not lose hope. Hope is an anchor to the souls of men. Satan would have us cast away that anchor. In this way he can bring discouragement and surrender. But we must not lose hope. The Lord is pleased with every effort, even the tiny, daily ones in which we strive to be more like him. Though we may see that we have far to go on the road to perfection, we must not give up hope.” –President Ezra Taft Benson.

“I just wanted to say how profoundly sorry I am for this burden you are called to carry. I wish I had answers to all the questions. All I know is that moving from pain to healing is a process.... a process that can't be rushed. I know that peace will come to you. The anger is normal and understandable. It is part of what helps us understand injustices. You will eventually be able to let go of your anger as you give the heaviness of it...the unanswered parts of it to God. What you are going thru right now is the essence of the why the Atonement was accomplished. I use that word on purpose -- accomplished. The same applies to your process. God will lead you to healing. Allow his wisdom to teach you whatever lessons he will as you pass thru it all. Forgiveness will come. It is ok that it isn't all here today.”