Why Are You Wet?

So McDonald's or some other fast food joint put last airbender toys in their kids meals. My little 3 year old cousin got one of the toys that squirts water. Not a lot of water, but enough to annoy someone's face.

He comes and asks to sit on my lap. His shirt is soaking. So are his pants. I ask why he's wet. He tells me about the toy. I tell him it's weird to shoot himself with it. I also tell him to get off me because I do not like wet children.  Love him. But get off me when you are wet, please.

He comes back about an hour later, pretty dry. But he still soaks my pant leg. Then I wonder why only his butt is wet.  He probably was sitting down while drying off, so his butt wouldn't get dry as fast...but I still ask.

"Bud, did you pee on Woody?" (He has Toy Story pull-ups)

He doesn't answer. I try not to do a dance of disgust and rip my pants off.  I succeed in avoiding the urge.

"Hey, do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No," he says.

"Yeah no wonder you don't. You peed on me, didn't you?"

No answer.  I tell him to go sit on the toilet while I get him a diaper instead of a pull-up, because that's what happens when you pee your pants. I put you in a real diaper.

Or at least that's what happens when you pee on my pants.