Confronting Ursula

I decided that when I'm tired, I have lots of observations that the world should know about. I'll write about one of those thoughts now.

Ursula should not exist. I'm talking Ursula from The Little Mermaid, not from George of the Jungle--that Ursula is fine. Ariel's Ursula on the other hand is a waste of terrifying space. She is already all-powerful because of her magic and her potions and her blood contracts and whatnot, so why did she need a trident to make her even scarier and WHY on EARTH did she need to get so HUGE? Honestly, the seawitch just kept becoming scarier and scarier as the movie went on. Just when you think you get to know her, BOOM! You don't anymore and once again she is an unpredictable evil lady. She's deadly underwater, and she's deadly on land, especially if she can store your voice inside a seashell.

Don't put your voice in a seashell, people. I mean really, how could that ever be a good idea? Is NOT logical at all.

And so this all-powerful, huge, nasty, scary creature was on the loose, and how do they stop her?

Prince Erik (fine man, that one) pokes her in the gut with a ship.

...dwell on that for a second...

...all powerful nasty blah blah blah...huge...trident...seawitch...

AND THEY POKE HER LIKE THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY???? HOW does THAT solve the problem? I mean seriously seriously seriously. I do not buy that at all. Ursula could not have gone down that easily. She was clearly faking a stupid achilles heel (or stomach) and she is on the prowl out there, waiting for some woman to wish for a man, watching for a girl who is desperate to be something she is not so that she can have the man of her dreams.

Not bashing Ariel. Not really. I love the story. Mermaid falls in love with human, blah blah blah, and I'm thankful that things worked out in the end, and I realize Ariel wouldn't be married to Prince Erik without Ursula's existence because her father never would've changed her into a human in the first place even though he had the power to avoid the whole tragedy...

Like how I talk as if it's all real?

Well news flash to those of you who haven't talked to me about Ursula. I am scared of this woman, because as much as I know she's a cartoon, and as much as I know that I am almost 21 years old and I have no reason to fear pixels of color and a voice overlay, I have this really bad feeling that she's going to convince me to sign a contract with her, or that she'll eat me, or some other event that will lead to my demise.

So world, laugh if you desire. Many have done so, and some people have tried watching the movie with me to help me see if I am over this absurd fear. But guess what? I should be trying to watch it with you so that I can warn you about this evilness that we introduce our children to. I apologize for using the word "to" to end a sentence. Anyway, you should all be aware that Ursula is stronger than she appeared to be, and she will seek revenge on your most beloved cartoon character sometime in the future when you least expect it. Or she will try to eat you in a recurring nightmare.

I realize this is dramatic, and honestly, if I go crazy, Ursula may be the cause. Either that or the number four. But this is something I decided the world needs to know about. And yes, I feel qualified to make that decision.

Ha ha ha. It's always more fun to write a blog when you are super tired.