Choose

So I was talking with my roommate today and it got me thinking.

I know that a lot of people in America throw away their leftover food. And yes, there are a lot of people around the world who are hungry, but how are we supposed to get our leftovers to them before they rot? I agree that this is wasteful, but I don't think we should stuff ourselves fat just because other people don't have food. We should just make less food, or give cans to a charity every now and then. There are even people in the States that need food, so if you think you have too much food, you can donate it to the local Food Bank.

But that's not exactly what I was thinking about.

I also know that a lot of people have clothes that they don't wear and sometimes they'll go through their closet and toss out some old stuff that they never use. This goes somewhere along the lines of the food thing, but I don't think it's okay to throw away clothes. You can easily donate clothes. Same for toys and shoes and books. The only thing I think people should throw away is underwear, because that's disgusting to share.

But that's not exactly what I was thinking about either.

I also know that some people abandon cars and houses. I'm not sure what exactly happens when you abandon cars or houses in a legal sense, but I wonder if it might be nicer to send a car to a demolition derby so that you can provide some entertainment. Maybe people can donate a house to a charity to fix up for their own purposes. Again, I don't know legal or financial issues dealing with property abandonment. It just seems like a waste of things that can make a difference to people.

And that's still not exactly what I was thinking about.

I am aware that many people appreciate the choice they have today regarding abortion. Women feel better knowing that they have the opportunity to have an abortion if they really feel like they should. It's not always because of financial reasons, responibility reasons, or anything at all. I don't think most of them plan on having abortion, they just want the freedom to choose. That's what I learned from my roommate, and I respect her opinion, and it makes sense to me.

There's also rape and incest and frankly, how on earth are you supposed to carry that baby inside of you? It'd take a super sober and strong person to go through that. And how can you judge someone if they abort when that happens to them? You shouldn't. You just should plain keep your nose out of it. (Note: I'm not claiming that I never judge people. I just realize that I shouldn't judge people. I am aware that I am a hypocrite, but please ignore that for a while.)

Freedom is a big deal. If you can't choose, then you are just being forced to do stuff. From what I understand, we are living so that we can make choices, so the pro-life/-choice debate is important to me. We are living so that we can put on our shoes in the morning and tie our own laces as they fall apart. No one else has to worry about our laces. If people try to force you to tie your shoes, tell them to worry about their own feet.

But that doesn't mean that I want people to abort. Quite the contrary.

There are women who become pregnant for various reasons. Many are in love. Some are in like. Some are indifferent. Any of these women could become pregnant without planning to--it's not just the young girls or the irresponsible people. Things happen, and sometimes those things are bad. That's life.

Repeat that last sentence: That's life.

Continuing: There are women who, for many reasons, choose to have an abortion. It is not our place to judge them. I would simply like to compare the situation to some other situations we're all familiar with. Here are my own opinions on the situations:

You throw away leftovers, and that's fine. They aren't going to help the people in Africa. But maybe you can give some leftovers to a poor college student you know. ;)

You throw away clothing, shoes, books, and toys, and that's okay, but there's really no reason to throw away stuff that other people could use. Try donating it. You can use it as a tax write off, so that's a bonus, right?

You abandon cars and houses, and that's your own deal. But what a waste! If you can do anything, send your car to an awesome show of destruction that people will enjoy or let some nonprofit organization have the place before you ditch. People can use things. Be creative.

You abort. Whether or not you believe the child feels pain or is alive at the point that you abort, you must know that you are at least taking away the potential of life. Even if you don't want the child, if you can't take care of the child, or if you can't emotionally handle the child because of how it was conceived, there are people out there who cannot physically have children. There are people who are dying inside to have a child of their own but they can't. They would love to have your baby. It's not like underwear--it's not disgusting to let someone else love and care for your child.

But having the baby requires a lot on the birthmother's part. They have to go through pregnancy, and that's not an entirely fun experience from what I hear and see. You have to go through labor, and that for sure is not going to be the best part of your day. These reasons alone are enough to convince some women that abortion is the right choice for them.

And there's another reason, one that I'm not too sure people think about. I cannot imagine someone giving birth and not loving, at least a little bit, the beautiful creature that they've shared everything with for the past ~nine months, their child. It has got to be so difficult to give up your child. I cannot imagine it. And I'm sure there are people out there who fall so in love with their babies that they decide to keep them even if they have adoptive parents lined up and ready to go. Those people keep their babies even if they can't provide for them as well as they would want to. It changes their lives and many of their dreams are shattered for the sake of this little person that they love so much. Sometimes this turn of events can create negative feelings in the birthparents because they wish they could've done more with their life. It's not a happy situation.

So I can see why people want the choice to abort. But in the long run, I think we shouldn't throw away people, not even the potential of them. They can offer so much to the world, and there are plenty of people out there who would love to have the children. They will gladly change the diapers, cure the fevers, teach to walk, endure the "I hate you's" and look forward to the "I love you's." There are people out there who want those children. There are people out there who can be affected by those children.

Who knows? You could be throwing away the next Hitler. But you might be throwing away the next Mother Teresa. But even if that baby won't become someone famously spectacular, they might make someone an excellent spouse. They might be the friend that keeps someone going through high school. They might still do great things, just on a smaller scale.

So that's exactly what I was thinking about.

I still believe in the freedom to choose. Without it, people can't make decisions. My opinion is pro-life, but if you are forced to choose that way, it doesn't help you, it only helps the baby. The baby is important, but so are you. If you choose to do it, then you might consider the difficult experience as a blessing. If you are forced, I doubt you will ever appreciate just what you are doing for that tiny person inside of you. You need to be able to make a choice, whether people agree with it or not. That's why you are in your own shoes. If you choose something that other people don't agree with and they treat you badly, I hope you forgive them. It's really hard to understand both sides of the argument completely. And if someone makes a choice you don't agree with, I hope you forgive them. What's apparently right for you isn't apparently right for other people.

If you comment, please do your best to respect other people's opinions. I hope that this post didn't come off as a bash on anyone who disagrees with me. I totally am not bashing. What you think is right is totally up to you, and you have your reasons, so that's fine. I just wanted to share my opinion on the matter with everyone who takes the time to read this. I admit that I think my opinion is right, but that's why its my opinion. And yes, I'm hoping to make an influence on anyone who reads this. That's me being honest for you.

My friend Andee has a blog with some posts about her own story as a birthmother. If you want to read it, visit http://anabananandee.blogspot.com/. You can access the story by clicking on links on the right side of the page (just scroll down).